That was the last straw. Jay held the younger's hand.
"JAKE. Look at me." Jake looked at him, Jay was tearing up too.
"Why are you cr-"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP JAEYUN! Do you not realize how lucky Jungwon is? You like him. It's you Jake. You are perfect just the way you are Sim Jaeyun. Your clumsiness, your kindness, the fact that you're polite and humble, regardless of the person you're talking to. You're respectful towards every person. You're an amazing person and you definitely should not think that you're not loveable, because there are people who think that you're the best person in the world. Have you ever realized how I got attracted to you? Have you ever realized why your dms and lockers are filled with confessions? You aren't any less, Jake." Jay said all this in a breath. He felt relieved.
He knew Jake always was very underconfident. He wanted to protect Jake. He wanted to give him the love that he deserves. And his heart broke seeing Jake like that. He just couldn't stop himself.
Jake hugged the older, he patted his back.
"Can I ask something?" Jake asked hesitantly.
"Go ahead." Jay said, smiling.
"Why are you comforting me and clearing my confusions when you like me? Why did you tell me all this? Why are you here comforting me even though you know I don't-"
"Like me?" Jay asked cutting him off.
"Yeah."
Jay sighed.
"Well, Jungwon deserves you. He deserves everything in the world. And I am not that pathetic to ruin a relationship between two best friends. To be honest, I think Jungwon likes you back, he's just bad at showing it."
"Jay don't give me hopes." Jake said as he fake cried.
"Jay-hope." Jay sneaked a dad joke making Jake chuckle a bit.
"Stop." The younger said as he finally smiled. That relieved Jay in a way.
"Jay.."
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry. But you know you can always count on me right? We'll always be buddies right?" Jake asked, with hopeful eyes. He was grateful to Jay. And he didn't want to lose a friend like Jay, call him selfish or affectionate.
"Definitely my Jakey!" Jay said as he smiled and ruffled Jake's fluffy hair.
"What should I do now though? I don't even know why Won is mad." Jake pouted as he spaced out into the ground.
'Ding.'
WON
- hyung! i'll go home with ni-ki. you should enjoy the time with jay hyung. sorry for my behaviour :(
it's okay won. i'm heading home too. i know ni-ki will drop you home safe and sound. -
"Jay. I'm really grateful to you. Please let's stay friends, always." Jake got up from the ground as he looked at Jay and thanked him.
"You're going to confess?" Jay asked.
"I... don't know. But I'll try to." Jake replied.
"Take you time to think, Jakey. I'm also going that way, you want me to drop you home?" Jay asked.
"I dont want to bother you Jay- Can you? Let's grab an ice-cream before going." Jake asked him as suddenly his eyes lit up.
"Sure, Jake." Jay smiled as he stood up towards the car, with Jake following, but the silence was comfortable.
The night was confusing, for Jake. For Jay, he was hurt, badly hurt and he just couldn't get things out of his head. But Jay wasn't that pathetic, he loved Jake and cared about Jungwon. He couldn't be selfish even if he wanted... that was just not in his nature. -------------------------------------------------------------
Jungwon reached the cafe early the next day. He couldn't sleep. He couldn't think anything else except what Ni-ki told him yesterday.
Flashback:
Jungwon saw Jake dragging Jay away from Nicholas. He didn't know the reason but he got curious. He excused himself from Ni-ki as he followed Jake. He saw it all. He heard it all. He heard Jay confessing to Jake. He felt like his heart dropped. He was confused. His breath got unstable and then Jake's leyes landed on him. He didn't know why he was hurt, he didn't have any words to say to the elder, so he just ran away from there, not realising a confused Ni-ki was just behind him.
He found a bench in the corner of the backyard. His shaking legs finally found a place to lean on. Not wanting to be seen, he hid his face in his palms and cried. He forcefully stopped crying as he felt someone sitting near him, someone caressing his back.
"Hyung..."
It was Ni-ki.
"You should go now Ni-ki. Let's talk later?" Jungwon tried to smile, looking at the younger, with his puffy, red eyes.
"You do not need to smile hyung. If you are hurt, cry it out. I'm here to listen to you." The younger said as he side-hugged Jungwon.
"Ni-ki I'm just... so confused." Jungwon said after the hug made him calm down a bit.
"I thought so. It's about Jake hyung right?"
"I feel so pathetic. If I didn't confess to Jay hyung, they would be dating right now won't they? Won't Jake hyung be happy? Jay hyung really takes care of us. If they would've dated, he would've treated Jake hyung the way he deserves."
"You feel like you dont treat Jake the way he deserves?" Ni-ki asked.
"I definitely not. Ni-ki I'm very bad at expressing what I feel and I sometimes hate myself for it. All along, ever since Jay hyung rejected me, all I worried about was me. I thought it would help me move on thinking about myself more, loving myself a bit more, and it did. But somewhere, Jake hyung got stuck. I feel so bad to be a hurdle to him. Jake hyung-" Jungwon got cut off by the younger male.
"Jungwon hyung, you seem confused about your feelings. Tell me, do you... like Jake hyung?"
"I feel nervous when we're too close. I felt hurt when Jay hyung confessed to him. I get so worried when he gets sick. I feel like he's the best person. Whenever he is sad, I just can't focus on things. I need some time to think about it Ni-ki. What if I do like him? What if it's him all along?" Jungwon questioned himself.
"That's for you to know hyung. Well it was nice meeting you after long. I'm rooting for you both. For now, do you want to talk to Jake hyung?" Ni-ki asked the older male.
"I think I shouldn't. I'll just call a cab right now and go back home."
