Back To The Past and Back To The Future (A Ben Reade fanfic)

Having S*X with his corpse

Alexa's pov

It's been a day since I lost my husband and It's been hard to deal with, I woke up this morning and cried because he's not next to me and but before I went to bed yesterday I saw him laying on the bed with his eyes closed. I mean I know I was seeing things but I want this to all be a dream I'm gonna wake up from even though I know it's not and he actually is gone.

Shane woke up and he was walking perfectly and it's like he was healed. He saw me upset and said "Dad's gone isn't he?"

I said "Yeah, he's gone"

Shane just hugged me and he started crying too. He told me how he misses his dad and I said "I know and I miss him too but there's nothing we can do to bring him back"

He asked me "How did he die again?"

I wiped my eyes and said "He injected himself with a toxic drug, he couldn't take it anymore and he just wanted to end his suffering"

He said "I wish I was there at the hospital so I could have said goodbye"

I said "I know but I'm glad you weren't, you would have never been able to handle seeing him like that, there's something I found out about your dad and he confessed but I didn't care, he was not doing so well"

He said "What did Dad do mom?"

I said "He killed people honey"

He looked shocked and said "Dad, killed people!"

I said "Yeah and I know I was shocked too"

He said "Why did he do it?"

I said "Well he strangled a girl because she laughed at him and he just wanted her to stop laughing and he killed three others because they knew about the first girl he killed and he didn't want the news to get out there, I should have hated him for it but I don't, I probably would have done the same"

He said "Mom, can we just hang out and cuddle? I just want you to hold me"

I said "Sure, I really need someone to hold right now since I can't hold your dad anymore"

We went into his room and we both laid down on his bed. I wrapped my arms around him and we both cried, I don't think were ever gonna stop crying.

We both loved Ben and now we just have to love each other. Later I heard a knock at the door and I went to answer it. When I opened the door Michelle, Danny, Marah, and Holly were all here. It felt great to see them again and they said they came over to see how I was doing and I let them come in and we went into a group hug.

After we broke the group hug Holly hugged me again. Right as my mother in-law hugged me I cried again, hugging her felt like Ben was hugging me, her touch felt like his.

I just wanted him back and I know that I never can, he was the only guy I truly loved. Yes I had a boyfriend before him but I never really loved Nick and after me and Nick broke up I felt like he was like my imaginary boyfriend.

I heard another knock at the door and it was that detective that was asking him questions at the hospital and I wasn't happy to see him.

He said he was here to say he was sorry and I said "I don't care if your sorry, you didn't care that he was dying because all you cared about was getting a confession out of him. Like he was suffering and you just kept asking and so I'm not gonna stand here and let you apologize and your gonna leave"

He said "Mrs. Reade please just let me say I'm sorry"

I said "No I'm not gonna let you! I don't want you here, all I want is for you to leave because I'll have you arrested for trespassing and I don't think you want that so GET OUT!"

So ok I should have calmed down but I was so angry!

Ok so I did something I shouldn't have but I had to, I went to the morgue and I went at night when no one was there and I snuck in and I found his body. I took it and set it down on the table and I got undressed, Ok I know this is weird but I have to feel his touch one last time before I give him up.

I got on top of him and I took his dick and slipped it inside me, like I know this is weird but I couldn't resist because I miss his touch and I knew that I would never get to feel him inside me ever again and so I had to feel it one last time and then I'll let him go. It felt so good and I was so close to cumming. Just one more deep breath and... Suddenly I heard a voice say "Hey! What are you doing in the morgue?!" I looked up and I was shocked to see this police officer.

I said "Um it's not what it looks like!"

He said "It looks like your having sex with a corpse"

I said "Ok I am but he's my husband and I had to feel his touch one last time, I mean wouldn't you want to feel your wife or husband's touch one last time if she or he died?"

The officer said "I'm sorry Mrs. Reade but that doesn't excuse what you're doing! You're breaking the law by defiling his corpse!" 

I said "But officer I'm only doing this once! Once! And it was supposed to be his last time!" 

He said "Then why are you doing this!?" 

I said "Because I miss him and it helps me forget and so I won't miss my last chance at making love to my husband" 

The cop just sighed and he said "Mrs. Reade I really am sorry but you know better than to do this so I suggest you leave and clean yourself up." I said "Ok I will but can I at least finish"

He said "Of course" When I finished I washed my hands and cleaned my mouth and everything else and then I put on some pants and a shirt and I sat on the sofa and tried to process what happened. 

I felt tears forming in my eyes and when I touched my face I cried more. This feeling just hurts so much. I went home and Shane saw me and asked me where I was and I was too embarrassed to tell him because he might hate me. I mean I went out just to have sex with his dad's corpse, After a long day I went into my room and laid down but as I laid my head down onto the pillow I saw him next to me. Those blue eyes staring at me and his smile smiling at me. That brown hair that I miss putting my fingers through and that laugh that I miss making me laugh.

He was my everything and now I feel lonely, in 9 months I'm about to have a baby and he won't be there to hold and to see them. He won't be able to see he or she grow up and it'll make me sad when they ask me where daddy is and I have to say he's gone and he's not coming back.