Forced Paths

Crack

His steps echoed loud in the silence of the night. His fingers pained as they were curved into two white fists. It was irrational. By now they would be half way through solving their problem. She was willing enough to purpose it. He thought of their kiss and her eyes that were fixed on him. He thought of her open kimono and how he wanted for the fabric to be removed. He punched a tree to stop his thoughts of accelerating more.
He wanted her and she was ready to let him have her.
He wanted her for some time now. When she touched him to explain the different muscles of the body, when he felt her breath close to his face as he pressed his sword at her neck, when she laughed at something silly. It felt as if he just now realised it. It wasn't the night, or the tension that made him pictured her with her skin touching his own. It was a feeling that invaded him frequently and now that he could have her, he understood it clearly.
Yes, he wanted her. But not like this. Not as an obligation to achieve a goal. Not as a duty to perform for someone else's pleasure.
He reached his destination and cursed his decision. Cursed her for confusing his mind.
He knocked the door with urgency, despite the late hour. If he thought about this more, he would retreat again to a person that looked like him but it was not quite. Not anymore. As the door opened, he registered that he, himself was the missing piece. The thing that didn't quite fit anymore.
The door opened, the face of his mother coloured with panic, yet her eyes kept the laziness of sleep.
"Sasuke? What's wrong?" She said with worry as she moved to the side to make him pass inside.
"Nothing." He said as the door closed on his back.
His father was up, their gazes met and he wavered for a moment. He was still on his feet, papers were thrown at the table beside him.
"Cancel the appointment." His voice sounded foreign.
"What appointment?" The man answered as if he had forgotten. As if that was a minor issue that didn't need his attention more than one fleeting moment.
"With the doctor." Sasuke spoke again and he felt weaker by the minute. He was a child again, waited for a scolding in another thing he had failed at.
"Why? Is she sick?" He said and moved his eyes on the papers that required more of his thoughts.
"No." The gaze of the man turned to his again in question. "She will not come."
"Tell her that I will drag her there if I have to." The irritation reached the room.
He felt his pulse quickened. He thought it was fear but as he spoke he understood that it was rage.
"She will not come. I forbid it." A monotone answer that didn't match his insides.
His father laughed. A short and cruel laugh.
"Go home. You have angered me enough already. You disturbed your mother."
He said as if he threw a pebble with his feet to the side.
"If anyone comes to take her, I will kill them. I mean it." The threat stole the oxygen of the room.
"What is this a rebellion of some sort?" His father yelled. "I believed you had the potential for someday to reach..." He stopped.
"My brother." He finished the sentence.
"Enough." The man raised his voice more.
It was the longer they had talked in years.
"I will not discuss more about this matter."
"Neither will I." Sasuke responded.
His mother had moved inside the room, placing herself almost between them.
"Is she scared?" She said looking at him before she turned her gaze to his father. "Maybe we could give her some days to prepare." She said softly.
"A Hyuga whore won't dictate our decision. She will open her legs to see if..."
A kunai stopped his words. A grasp was heard and then a pleading.
"She is my wife. The one you chose for me. Speak with respect." Sasuke said and his words were deadly.
"Sasuke." His mother moved his hand away. She sounded strick and broken.
"Listen to me boy." His father found his composure. "What you did was treason, but I will let it slide this once, since you are my blood. Do it again and I will..."
"Don't make me." Sasuke stopped his words.
He saw the fist coming to his face but didn't stop it. Maybe it was because of guilt. He had threatened his father. He had put a knife on his throat. He would do it again.
"Stop it. Both of you."
It had been a while since he heard her voice raised. It was unatural how it still froze them.
"You should be ashamed." Her face turned from one to the other.
"I will not hear more about this. Sasuke apologise to your father immediately." She commanded and his head dropped. "Now." She said more eagerly.
He thought he heard a word coming from his mouth.
"Go home and think about your behaviour." She said sternly.
His father tried to speak but she stopped him.
"This is the end of it. Sasuke is right. It's a shame to drag around your daughter in law, the future matriarch as if she is a peasant." Her voice was calm but determined. She had stroke a point. Itachi had inherited this from her.
His father tried to protest but she focused her attention to her son.
"Go now. Your father and I have some things to discuss."
Her hands were on his back, guiding him to the front door.
He took a step outside but turned to look at her before he left. Her eyes were on him, her face with an unreadable expression. She just nodded before she closed the door behind her.
The walk back was slower. He believed he had to think about the surreal evening. Yet his mind was blank. No thought crossed him, he felt almost empty. If there was anything he could pinpoint was his chest that felt less burdened.
He entered his house in a daze. She was sitting at the table across the entrance, still in her purple kimono. She got up in a hurry and walked to him. He barely finished getting off his shoes.
"What happened?" She asked worried.
"Hm?" The previous events were slowly coming back to him.
"Are you alright?" She said again as she touched his face.
He took a step back, leaving her arm hunging in the air.
She looked confused but then her features hardened.
"Who hurt you?" She asked again.
"Noone." He finally answered strictly.
"Your eye.." It was probably his tone that made her more reluctant.
His palm reached for the skin around his eye. He morphed as he realised that it pained him.
His father didn't hold back. It was the adrenaline of that moment that tricked him but as he relaxed the pain made its appearance.
"I will bring something to ease the pain." She said softly. "Come." She tried to hold his hand to guide him in the chair but he put it behind his back, like he feared of her touch.
"Sit." She said and her voice was less colourful.
As she promised, she brought clean towels and water. He was sitting on the chair and she bent her knees to match his height.
His gaze outside, purposely missing hers. He flinched slightly and he smelled of the alcohol used to clean the skin.
The second towel dived into the cold water, he didn't see it but in the silence of the night, of the space between them, he heard it.
He felt the cold as she lightly pressed it on his eye.
"I can do it myself." He said still unable to meet her gaze.
"It's okay." She whispered.
She dived the towel again and repeated the movement.
"What happened?" She asked again. "I was worried."
"Don't." He said, almost commanded.
The silence emerged and the drops of the water on the bowl was the only sound in the house.
"You don't need to worry anymore." He decided to speak. "Noone will bother you again."
He wasn't comforting, he just stated a fact.
"What do you mean?" She sounded confused.
"No doctors, no accusations, no more probing." He continued in the same voice. "I took care of it."
"That's why you are hurt?" She asked.
He sighed.
"Yes and no."
"Sasuke you didn't need to... I would have...I was fine with it."
He felt the fabric leave his skin.
That's when he decided to turn. To finally see her as she spoke.
She stared at him and she blinked once when his eyes met hers, as if she wasn't expecting him to turn ever again.
"Now you don't have to." He said sternly.
She stayed silent for a moment.
"But you know I would do it. I don't.. I don't like see you hurt." She said.
He took his time to observe her. She was as much emotional as she was practical. From the decision she took to marry him to the proposal she made this evening. Finding solutions for other people's problems.
"I know you would." He only responded.
She lost his stare for a moment, only to find it again the next.
"But you didn't want to." She said as if a revelation crossed her mind just now.
"No. I did not." He answered calmly.