Love Me | MarkNoHyuckMin

chapter sixty one

"It happens to me too", Jisung says quietly, getting Jaemins attention. "That's why I'm always affectionate and reply fast. Because I can't be left alone with my thoughts or I'll take everything the wrong way."

"When's the last time that happened?"

"A few months ago."

"Did you tell anyone?"

"Yeah, I went and saw Yuta."

"Were you alone before that?"

"Lele was home but I didn't tell him."

"Jisung", Jaemin says softly. "Doesn't he know?"

"It was really bad though, and I wasn't ready for him to see what that looks like. And I didn't trust myself with my hypersensitivity."

"How much does he know?"

"He knows I went to a therapist and that I stopped, that I have take-as-needed medication, and told him a little bit about what happens when I have an episode or hard time."

"Does he help?"

Jisung nods. "Between his affection, reassurance, effort he puts in, and little things he does, I can usually help myself feel better. But it startles him when I cry. And he wants to help but then he'll try not to talk and I'll feel bad. And if it's bad, I can't handle any distance unless the person is going to the bathroom and I don't wanna stop him from doing his normal things. I know he can't just drop everything, I just wish he could."

"Do you ever stay in or do you always go out?"

"I'll lock myself in our room and cry. And I'll try to distract myself after a while or take a nap."

"Always tell me about it, okay?"

Jisung looks to the side as he asks, "What if you're busy?"

Jaemin shakes his head. "You're the most important thing in the world to me. And if I can't see you in person, I'll talk to you. I don't care if you cry or if you have to tell me not to talk about a certain subject and I don't think it matters to Lele either. I don't want you to be alone."

"Okay."

"Did the...did the other stuff stop?"

"It's not as bad but sometimes I can't be in the kitchen. Or I'll get paranoid when I'm showering."

"How about your health?"

Jisung nods. "Most of the time, I'm fine and working out makes me feel better anyways."

"Okay." It goes silent for a minute and then Jaemin asks, "Anything else you wanna say? About this, I mean."

Jisung thinks about saying no but something comes to mind, thought he's not sure if he should say it. "Um..." He glances at Jaemin and sees his best friend giving him the undivided attention he always gives him, eyes showing adoration. Jisung sighs. "Can we...can we make sure we don't go this long without talking or seeing each other again."

"Of course."

➳

"Jisung!" Jaemin exclaims as soon his eyes land on the male.

"Love!"

Jisung hurries over to Jaemin and embraces him in a giant hug, feeling relieved to have his best friend near him. Jaemin smiles, equally as happy.

"I'm giving you kisses first."

Jisung doesn't complain and tilts his head a little bit as Jaemins hands gently hold his face and he begins peppering kisses all over the place, making Jisung giggle. When Jaemins done, he rests his nose against Jisungs and gently rubs it against his.