A Princess' Tale

Chapter Thirteen

Edward disappeared the day before our twenty-first birthday.

Before my coronation.

My parents assured me he would return. He'd been absent often and usually came back when we least expected it. Except I knew he was truly gone this time.

I'd gone into his bedchamber and found it empty. It resembled the lonely guest chambers. Bare of any belongings. He did not intend to come home anymore. He'd found a new home. Perhaps he'd say he'd found some home where the Warrior Angels roamed. The mere idea made me feel cold.

I woke up that morning with anger. I couldn't believe he left me and his family. No, I couldn't believe he left Fayre. While she smiled every day, I saw her spirit dwindling more and more. She would never forget him. She would never let him go, even if she tried her hardest. She couldn't.

No sickness had ever come, like Edward had predicted. None of us ever spoke about it either. Part of me felt guilty about imagining everyone writing it off as Edward losing his wits. Nobody ever mentioned Edward or asked about his whereabouts, even before this day. Even on the rare evenings when he had joined us for supper, we had ignored him, and he had ignored us. Strangers under the same roof. I supposed I shouldn't have been surprised he had decided to leave indefinitely. That didn't make me feel any better, though. He should have been here for me. I did not care how selfish that sounded. As my brother, he should've been there to support me, just as he had promised he would.

As we went through with the coronation ceremony, the speeches, and the long hours of smiling, I knew this would be a day I would fabricate for years. I would say it was a beautiful and memorable day. It wouldn't entirely be a lie. Everything had gone as perfectly as planned. My gown had been sewn carefully and made almost entirely of lace. My mother had gifted me new gloves to wear for the occasion as well. They shimmered with silver.

My people were overjoyed. I saw eyes filled with tears. They held high expectations. I wasn't afraid, but I was lonely. I wanted to run off so many times and cry.

When it came time to have my coronation portrait painted, I smiled and stayed frozen. My mind went blank. Despite my heart, I wanted everyone—including myself—to remember this day fondly. I hoped, sometime in the future, I would also fool myself into believing I was genuinely happy on this day.

I woke up as Princess Tatianna and went to bed as Queen Tatianna.

And the only thing I had wanted was to hear a congratulations from my brother.

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The following weeks were brutally exhausting.

I never recalled sleeping or waking up. If it weren't for Fayre and Marigold, I'm certain I wouldn't have remembered to eat either.

"I know it's difficult, my dear," my mother said to me one evening. "But I am here to help you. Should you need me to take on any of the responsibilities, I will."

I smiled at her from my desk. Ah, yes... my desk. How unreal it was to me still. I thanked my mother. However, I refused to let her help me. I had taken her role, and I wanted her to enjoy her days in peace.

Sometimes, during brief moments of silence, I remembered Edward. I realized I hadn't thought about him, and I would start to feel guilty. But I questioned myself why? I was certain he never stopped to think about us. If he did, he would have also considered our feelings and at least told us he would be leaving.

Therefore, I tried to avoid these moments and kept myself distracted.

Fortunately, my biggest and best distraction came months later when Philip returned for another visit. My parents were behaving strangely during this time and lied whenever I asked them what was wrong.