YIRUMA - I

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it left you feeling sick. staring up at the ceiling, eyes heavy as sleep and exhaustion begged to take over. it did, for a bit, leaving you to wake up just a groggy as before. perhaps if you stayed in bed long enough you could get rid of the nausea that tugged at your stomach and heartstrings, or at least relieve it enough to keep you from wanting to throw up every time you recalled the harsh words spoken.

had you gone too far? you didn't mean to be so harsh, chishiya just didn't understand the things he did to you. the strange comfort he brought just sitting by your piano, paired with the anxiousness you felt each time you feared the idea of him leaving. tears would run down your cheeks once more, finding a distaste for the idea of him no longer by your side on that bench. you had gone far too down the path of enjoying his companionship to turn back now, no longer able to survive within these walls with him absent in your life. you sighed, feeling the regret replace the nausea. you'd much rather swallow down your pride than let him leave for good.

your knuckles were soft coming in contact with his wood, rocking back and forward on your heels while waiting with a baited breath for him to answer. when the click of the door was heard and you were greeted with the familiar pair of eyes and messy blond hair, you wasted no time holding up your notebook for him to see. 'follow me' it read, and he asked no questions as he shut the door behind him and joined you downstairs.

you swallowed down the emotion in your throat when motioning for him to take his usual seat, scribbling even more into your notebook for him to see. you were terrible with words, at least in the sense of not being able to form them in the way you wanted to. it was why you turned to music, it felt more familiar using notes and melodies to describe the way you felt than the symbols from the alphabet. and it was exactly why you felt as if apologizing to him for your previous actions would better be conveyed through a song.

he listened quietly as usual, and you made sure to pour your heart into describing just how you felt. apologizing for yelling, for becoming frustrated and not listening to him when he was clearly worried about your well-being. and you let the blond know of your fears, of him disappearing and him using you for a reason you didn't like and wished to leave your mind. you let him know it all, leaving it bare for him to see all the way until the last key was pressed.

chishiya still didn't speak. he remained motionless and as silent as ever. the only indication he had heard you and understood your pleas was him scooting over ever so slightly, pressing the side of his body firmer against yours. another long beat of silence, until he reached one hand out of his pocket and placed it on your head, gentle and hesitant as if afraid you were porcelain he could break. finally you released your breath, allowing him to continue his gesture knowing that he accepted the realest parts of you.

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