Don't Run From Me (BoyxBoy)

It's Better If I Stay

Grayson

It was getting cold out.

I dreaded the thought of facing the stale icy air that awaited beyond these walls. I shuffled the curtains to one side, watching the steam escape, running my hands through freshly washed hair. I wrapped the towel covering my lower half, grabbing the blow dryer from beneath the sink. A gelid gaze boring back at me felt like something of a paradox. I stared back, placid eyes daring. The intimate fear adorned my features, plaguing my usual unaware persona but I was painfully aware, 

Like a rival to clockwork, the still images of that night came pouring in. Though, his face remained the same only when our eyes met. The feeling hanging idly in the air morphed into one drenched in repugnance.

My skin felt ablaze, dwindling into an unbearably feverish haze. The horrid guilt that suddenly flooded my memories was gruesome yet undoubtedly not my own. They ransacked my emotions, indulging in my vulnerability; weighing it down with such force; the dread began to boil in me with vigor.

Blood red eyes leering silently, daunted with a pacifying collectiveness. Somewhere amongst the flames resided a benevolence. Amid the bloodcurdling cries of despair, a servitude lay present.

The urge to fight for my life grew insatiable, the desperation boring from the angst alone nipped at my heels. Urging my tired mind through what seemed like a living nightmare. I hadn't the slightest clue what I was supposed to gain from this well, frankly terrifying experience.

Yet I wondered about that calmness I hadn't been able to reach. What would have become of me had I? He vaguely resembled a deacon in the disarray of calamity. I'd be a liar to ignore how petrified I was, but it didn't take much to know it wasn't of him.

I blinked, falling wildly back into reality. It was silent; only the dryer was still on, my phone blaring from my bed. I was unbelievably late. I sighed, dying to calm the hurried pounding that allotted my heart. Taking a step outside, I subconsciously remembered I had no clean clothes. Silencing said alarm, I began gathering clothes and sorting what was salvageable. I placed them in the hamper, lifting my arms and stretching. A smile tugged at my lips, hearing the gratifying crack from my slowly deteriorating spine.

I knew I'd have so much make-up work to do. I thought back to what classes I was doing well in and the others that did not need a two-week vacation. I blew a breath, grabbing the ripped black jeans from the hamper. I decided I would play it safe and wear all black. Problem solved.

I clasped my chain on, grabbing a couple of rings before I put my shoes on, shoving any and everything in my bag. Hurrying down the stairs, I glanced at the clock; mumbling a string of curses deaf to the ears of my dad, who sat in the kitchen oddly watching his news from the farthest possible distance. I eyed him warily, deciding to not question him and to just grab my breakfast and go.

I'm hauling ass trying not to be the center of attention; prancing in late after going m.i.a (Missing in Action), for two weeks?

I knew my grades would be the victim of my fucked laziness. I sighed, pulling into the parking lot and going as far from any other cars as possible, mentally preparing myself for this while I made it through the bile of people in the lot and the same paint-chipped doors. The fluorescent lights beamed onto the tile with years of scuff marks and discarded chewing gum. What did I ever do to deserve such luxury?

I made it to my locker with no interaction, replacing the chemistry book with my math one. It was not long before the floral scent of rose's bombarded my senses sending me into a flurry of sneezes. My eyes glazed towards her, watching as she flipped her long hair from one side to the other, eyes bright and beaming enough to be entirely unsettling.

Ignoring her per usual, I made my way to homeroom. I could hear the tapping from her sandals as she trailed behind me quietly. I opened the door leading us in, my eyes fell to his seat almost instantly. It was empty.

A wave of relief washed over me followed by a strange discontent. Exactly what did I want to see? I looked down, taking a second-row seat with Anise following suit. The class began with exam preparations and announcing the extra help that was available for us after school. It's surreal coming to the middle of the school year with only six months to determine my future, I was actually excited.

"I take it all back," I muttered in annoyance. I eyed her but Anise's laughing was hysterical, and all at my expense. I glared at the thick collection of traumas enveloped deceitfully in a pretty blue folder. I can't believe I missed almost half a semester's worth of work.

I groaned, placing my head on the cool iron bars, looking down at my feet below. It was now lunch, and the day was unusually beautiful. I could hear her quiet complaining about the bugs, but I paid her no mind. Today seemed like the most normal day I'd experienced in so long. Yet, the feeling of longing was running rapid. I fought my hardest to keep my mind off the things I saw or think I saw. I wasn't too sure anymore.

I was more than sure he wasn't here today. I haven't seen him in the halls; completely disregarding the fact that I was avidly trying my hardest to avoid him. Before that was nearly impossible. I felt a twinge in my chest; could it be he was also avoiding me?

As if on cue, I felt a warmth build at the nape of my neck; placing a cool finger on it, I rubbed the skin that now felt hot to the touch.

I recoiled in shock.

'What is this?', I thought to myself, looking up and around, feeling like I was suddenly under a burning lamp.          

I felt regretfully warm, I crossed my legs, biting my lip in an unsuccessful attempt to suppress the heat that was building like a wildfire, prancing dangerously along my skin.  My eyes were roaming the rumple of people, my body felt like it was doused in sweat, a fervent heat began forming at the base of my collar bone.

My eyes widened in disbelief as the heat began to swelter. The desperation coaxing any resolve. My heart was pounding, desperate to escape the confines of my chest. I licked my lips, it was painful that I was unable to cool my persistent blistering skin. I needed to calm the fuck down instead I felt feverish ten fold. I wanted to leave, my clothes were beginning to feel suffocating. My eyes hastily skimmed again, not quite sure what I was even looking for then our gaze locked.

Everything else fell out of existence and we only remained, despite the tired efforts I was reluctant to pull my gaze away. His gaze gorged on my last bit of sanity devouring it with no remorse. I haven't looked upon them in so long, his thick eyebrows furrowed in utter curiosity, his lips pursed almost inviting, and the sun did nothing but sedate me into a fearsome trance. His skin glistened under the golden haze, his gaze dark and defiant, I felt like a shiver tear through my core, inching over every last part of my being.

I stood abruptly, inciting a surprised gasp from Anise, I didn't say a word feeling I'd reached my limit. I left my backpack, turned around, and speed walked back into the school. The cool familiar stale air scented slightly with mold was almost like a wash of relief. I could hear my heart slamming like a hammer to a nail but I was reluctant and chose to ignore it, desperate to get as far as possible. I made it down the hall, taking the stairs up to the theatre room.

It was silent, the stuffy smell of unwashed drapes and sweat-filled costumes was still in the air. No one would find me here, I heaved a breath, feeling like I successfully evaded a possible war. My palms felt cool, the nervousness I felt now suddenly docile. My heart was slow, steady, I kicked my head back,

'What was that?' I thought to myself, his eyes played again like a broken record, I fought a timid whimper feeling my body heat up,

" What the fuck?" I gasped, the fear striking realizing I had no control over what was happening, I pulled my shirt off revealing a black sleeveless undershirt. Pushing my hair from my face, maybe I was hot but why did I feel so out of breath?

I was flapping the hem of my shirt when the hairs on my arm rose, I heard a knock come and I jumped up trying to shove my shirt on, Holy shit. I'm so screwed if it's a teacher, I fixed my hair watching as he rounded the corner.

My heart fell to my ass as my eyes met with the same honey-filled gaze that haunted my every thought, I let out a reluctant sound in shock.

" Grayson?"