cadnis oneshots so i can get some f*cking sleep

pinky swear

"She never has to know," the woman continues, undoing the top button on Janis' shirt. Janis shudders as her long, false nails scratch the sensitive skin of her chest. The woman leans in close, their lips almost touching, and whispers, "Do you want this?"

Janis will never remember what she said in response.

The next thing she knew, she was waking up to a pounding headache only worsened by the bright sunlight streaming through the window. She yawned and rolled over, and was horrified to discover someone in bed next to her. They were both completely naked, the other woman was covered in hickeys, and Janis could feel the soreness of a wild night.

She immediately scrambled out of the bed and ran around to find all her clothes, tossed carelessly around the room. She never found her bra, but she ran out of the room as soon as she was covered. That woman can keep it, as far as she's concerned.

The only thought running through her aching head: What the fuck have you done?

—-

The torturous replay only ceases when the door clicks open and shut behind her. Cady comes to sit on the step next to her, wearing one of Janis' hoodies that she'd 'lost' a while ago.

They both look out, over what little of the horizon they can see, and watch the sun set. Like they have so many times before. It hurts, having to hold herself back from reaching for Cady.

She wants so desperately to hold her hand, hug her, throw herself at her feet and beg for forgiveness. Cady shivers slightly as the last sliver of sunlight fades away for the day. Janis can hardly bear not pulling her into her lap and cradling her, letting Cady have what remains of her body heat.

But this is how it has to go.

The stars are shining at their full brightness by the time either of them speaks.

"Can I ask you something?" Cady asks, so quietly Janis has to strain to hear. The hollowness in her voice chills Janis to her core.

"Anything," Janis replies, trying to keep back her tears.

"Answer me honestly," Cady demands. "If you can't do that then there's... there's nothing I can do here."

"I promise," Janis says immediately. "I owe you at least this much."

"Why did you do it?"

Janis is quiet for a long time. It's almost a whisper when she finally answers. "I don't know. I literally have no idea. I've... I've never been unhappy with you. I'm attracted to you, we communicate well, we... we work. Or we did. I just... got drunk. She was there. I don't think I'll ever know why I said yes to her."

Cady nods weakly and fiddles with the end of her sleeve. She looks away, and seems to brace herself. "Would you do it again?"

"No," Janis insists immediately. "Never. I've already promised myself I'm never drinking again, and I would never have done that sober. I'll never do it again. The last thing I ever want is to hurt you. I know... I know I have already, but... I'll do anything to keep from doing it again. Anything."

Cady nods again, but doesn't look back. She looks up at the stars with tears streaming slowly down her cheeks. Janis can almost see her brain ticking along at a thousand miles per hour.

Cady sighs and sniffles before she speaks again. "I can't make you any promises. But I want to at least try to make this work. We need counseling, and a lot of time. I'm hurt more than I think you understand. It's gonna take a lot of work and time for me to trust you again. But I've had... too many good years, too many perfect moments with you, for... one drunken mistake to ruin it all. And I believe you. If you say you won't do it again. But if you fuck anything else up, I can't do this. One more mistake and I'm done. For good."