Five For Fighting

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"Damien!" I heard myself shouting, "Damien, stop!"

I could have cried for Phoenix, as he was usually the calmer of the two, but he was so beyond drunk that he wouldn't have enough sense to stop. My screams must have stirred something in my brother's because within seconds there was a break in the crowd and Phil restrained Damien, hugging him tight against his chest. Sam reached out and did the same to his best friend, but both Holt boys managed to break free of my brothers and Damien got one last good punch in before Phil was able to completely restrain him, twisting his arm in an unnatural angle and snapping something in his ear.

Phoenix slowly lifted his hands in surrender, spitting blood at his side. His face was bloodied and I could see he was having a hard time keeping his right eye open. Damien shoved Phil away from him and headed for me in Cady's arm, grasping my forearm a little too roughly for my liking, before he dragged me down the beach until we were under the hill that held the beach house. He was just as bloody as his brother, but unlike Nix, his nose was emitting an unnatural amount of blood, drenching his upper lip and jaw with fresh blood. I groaned and spun of my heel, in the process of this, the entire world spun around me like a top, making another wave of nausea crash into me. Fortunately I didn't throw up, but I felt Damien crouch beside me, one of his hands pulling my hair back in case I did. Once I was sure I wasn't going to puke, both my hands intertwined around Damien's bicep, afraid if I let go of it, the world would start spinning again.

"I don't know why you couldn't just listen to Phil. I don't know why you thought drinking was a good idea, Ari."

I rested my head against his warm shoulder. "Nothing even happened, Damien. Nobody even tried to lure me away like you guys said."

"You were a minute away from waking up naked in my brothers bed tomorrow morning." Damien snapped. "Which is a decision both of your drunk asses would have regrated tomorrow."

I snorted. "I was not."

"You're so naïve." He mumbled bitterly.

I tightened my grip around his arm, afraid if I turned my head to look at him again I'd pass out. "Because you're some sort of hero now, right? Because you saved me from myself."

"I never said that."

"Figure yourself out, Damien." I huffed. "One minute your walking around acting like you don't care, like I'm just an annoying sister to you, the next you act as if you want me."

He sighed and I could feel his shoulders slump forward a little. "You're definitely not an annoying sister."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I can't let myself care about you too much, Ari. It's too dangerous."

He gently brushed his fingers under my chin and turned my head so I was looking into his haunting gray eyes.

"Because the little demon boy would hurt me more, right? Hate to break it to you, Damien, there's not much left of me to hurt."

He shook his head. "Because it'd be a giant self destructive mess, Arianna. It'd be like using gasoline to put out a fire. We're too broken. Too lost."

I dropped my gaze to his wrist and brough my trembling hand up to touch my fingertips along the scars.

"You used to self harm." I whispered,

All that broke passed his lips was a quiet, 'Stop."

I grasped his hand in my own before touching it to my inner thigh, but his eyes immediately widened in shock.

"No." his voice was strained. "Why would you do that to yourself, Arianna?"

"I used to think that if I cut I would feel a fraction of the pain my mother was going through. That I could understand the pain better." I knew that the makeup I'd put on this afternoon was already mess, I didn't even bother to try and fight the tears that stung my eyes.

Damien dropped his head, staring at the sand between his fingers. "I did it to release the pain. I always thought the pent up anger and pain, when I'd slide that razor blade across my arm, that it'd trickle away with the blood. That the agony I was living in would go with it."

"But it didn't?" I asked breathlessly.

He shook his head, eyes finding mine again, this time tears muddied his eyes into a huge mess of gray and green.

"Just made it worse. When my parents would see them, especially in comparison to Nix's perfect, unscathed body, they'd beat the ever-living shit out of me."

I touched my trembling hand to his cheek. "I'm so sorry, Damien. I didn't know."

He pried my fingers from his face until my hand was in his own. "It is what it is. I'm not even going to bother showing you my back right now, you won't even remember this conversation in the morning. Just. . . please don't go back to it, Ari. It doesn't help. It just makes everything worse."

I nodded a little, but my head felt heavy and I stopped after a second and glanced at him again, but he was already staring at me. Like every word that had left my mouth tonight, my actions became unfiltered and I pushed myself up and kissed him. He immediately pulled away, his forehead still pressed against mine, but he was staring down and not at me.

"You didn't really want to do that." Damien said. "Nor are you going to remember it tomorrow."

He pressed his lips against my forehead before pulling me into his side and rubbing my shoulder. I slowly rested my head and followed his gaze to the fireworks that had begun to brighten the dark sky. Somehow this made sense, sitting here with Damien in the darkness with few hints of lighting it for seconds at a time.

"Damien?" I whispered.

"Hmm?"

I shut my eyes. "What did Nix mean about having something you wanted?"

"Nothing." Damien's voice was barely audible. "Just remember that he has loved you since we were kids. He's what you need in your life right now. Friend, boyfriend, brother, whatever it is you want him to be, he's your light."

"What about you?" I mumbled, but I could feel my sleepiness starting to creep up on me.

Damien was quiet for a few minutes before he finally answered. "I'll be okay. I'll survive. I always have. As long as you and Nix are happy, that's all that matters."

I started to fade in and out, but felt his lips on mine one last time before the darkness consumed me entirely. 

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