Oh Brother (Completed)

Hey, Brother

                        "So they all just wake up at seven in the morning to eat those?" I questioned the back of Nix's head. "Do you lace them with marijuana or something?"

                        Phoenix let out a loud, genuine laugh at the question. I could hear Buckley joining in behind me, but it was Aden who responded to me.

                        "That's not a half bad idea." He joked. "We're not usually up this early, today is just a big day."

                        "Big day?" I looked from Aden to Phillip at the table. "Why? Is Dad coming home?"

                        All four of my brothers exchanged a look, then dropped their gazes to the plate while the oldest answered.

                        "Dad only drops in when he needs something." Phil mumbled bitterly. "We throw a party at the beginning of summer every year. Bring in the newcomers and catch up with the old friends."

                        "And Dad just lets you invite all of Malibu?" I asked.

                        Sam looked toward me, hand propping his head up. "He's not here to tell us not to. He doesn't care."

                        "When does this party start?" I turned my body back toward Phoenix. "I'm going to need to steer clear of it. I really don't have the patience to deal with rich pricks right now."

                        All my brothers looked ready to jump to their buddies defense, but Damien snorted from the doorway, disrupting the peace more than I had. He had clearly been there a while, as his arrogant stance appeared to be as comfortable as he could get leaning in the doorway. His gray eyes were narrowed in my direction, eyebrows drawn as if he were concentrating on something. His arms were crossed over his chest, his left foot kicked back against the wall, right one on the tile.

                        "Because you're so much better?" His words were as icy as the look darkening his eyes. "Last time I checked, you were one of these rich pricks at one point. Just because you got to run away with Mommy doesn't mean you're somehow this perfect little angel of innocence."

                        "Damien." Nix and Phillip both hissed in unison. Nix stood with the spatula in the air, shooting daggers at his younger brother, possibly contemplating the thought of throwing the utensil at the boy in front of the door. Phillip had started to stand up, his palms flat against the burgundy table cloth.

                        "Don't Damien me." He was glaring at Phoenix over my shoulder. "She doesn't get to waltz her ass back into our lives and treat us like we're beneath her. I don't know what the hell your mother told you, Arianna, but not everyone is your father."

                        I stood at the dig toward my mother, pushing away from the island and moving toward Damien by the door.

                        "How about you keep your mouth shut about shit you know nothing about?"

                        Phoenix sighed and turned the stove off, crossing the room to us in a couple strides. "Both of you need to calm down."

                        "You think I want to be here?" I said through my teeth, ignoring Nix's warning look. "I don't! But my mother wanted me here for whatever reason, so you're just going to have to grow up and get used to me being here."

                        Damien shoved his brother's hand away when he tried to restrain him. The familiar Damien, the almost friend Damien, was gone.

                        "I care about you, Arianna, I do. But you don't get to walk around here thinking you own the place." Damien snapped. "You're the one who has growing up to do."

                        For a moment, I just stared into his haunting gray eyes, wanting desperately to find some hairline fracture in the arrogant façade he'd suddenly put on, but there wasn't one.

                        "I didn't get to go to school in hundred-dollar shirts and drive a Mercedes." I broke the silence. "I sat in a claustrophobic bedroom in a four year old shirt curled up beside my dying mother in constant anticipation of her drawing her last breath. You don't get to tell me I need to grow up, I grew up before I even had a chance to be a child."

                        Every ounce of Damien's anger dissipated hearing my words. He uncrossed his arms, but even Phoenix's outstretched hand didn't stop me from pushing through both of them and out of the kitchen. I waited until the door was shut to start up the stairs, pressing the back of my hand against my mouth to keep my sobs internalized until I was in the sanctuary of my bedroom.

            *

            I was sure it wasn't much of a discussion to send Phoenix upstairs after me, but I had already calmed myself by the time he turned the knob and joined me in the eerily quiet bedroom. He shut the door all the way behind him, pressing his fingertips against the knob in a second of hesitation before sitting beside me on the bed.

                        "He didn't mean that, Fae." Nix rested his hand on top of mine. "It's just going to be a bit of adjustment on all sides with you being back here. He loves you, I promise he does, but he's been through a lot too. He still hasn't learned not to project himself on to others, to keep it in."

                        I looked at his hand, at the paper cuts and pancake batter that lined his long, slender fingers. I was admittedly a little surprised to find how dirty and beaten his hands were. I would have thought with having the money they did, he'd be out getting his hands and nails done as my father used to, even if it had only been to keep up appearances.

                        "Keeping it in is worse." I eventually said. "Breaks you little by little. Or maybe you'd understand it better like this. It's like being in the ocean, and every time I'm able to poke my head up for air, a riptide pulls me back in and now matter how hard I fight the current, I can't get back up for air."

                        Phoenix's shoulder slumped forward in sadness hearing the explanation. "I'm so sorry, Fae."

                        I shook my head, turning my head in the opposite direction so he wouldn't see my tears. "Sorry isn't going to bring her back. I just want someone to understand that."

                        "I do understand that, Fae." He took my hand between his own. "But neither is wallowing around in bitterness and hatred. I'm not telling you not to grieve, I'm telling you in order to move on, you need to let go. Your mother wouldn't want you spending the summer like this."

                        I could feel my bottom lip trembling, my vision blurred by an influx of fresh tears. "I don't know who I am without her."

                        Phoenix, unphased by my crying, stretched both arms around me and pressed me against his chest. He buried a hand in my hair and rested his cheek against the top of my head, his grasp on me gentle, as if he were afraid if he pressed too hard I'd break.

                        "Then we'll find her, Fae." He said into my hair. "We'll spend this summer trying to find her."

                        I lifted my head a little, looking up at him through my wet lashes. "What if I don't like what I find?"

                        "You'll love her, Arianna." He swiped his thumb against my cheek. "And even if you don't right away, you'll learn to."