SIMPHIWE SHANDU THE HUSBAND

Driving back home felt weird after a very long time. My leg was numb throughout and the problem started when we got home. I had to take an over dose of pills – it felt like someone was cutting my leg with a sharp blade. Needles sticking in and out.
Nozi is somewhere in the house sleeping, that is what she does best these days. All of the blue she has started disliking my shaving cream – the smell of it. She says it doesn't sit well with her and it makes her stomach upset.
This has been beyond weird and I am failing to under her weirdness that has just occurred within a blink of an eye. My phone vibrates and I can see Dudu’s name flashing on the screen. We have unfinish business with this woman. So, I decided to pick it up.
“Dudu…”
Sh is crying hysterically on the other line hurting my eardrum. I remove the phone from my ear and frown.
“Yini!” I am just suddenly annoyed by her. If this is the reason for this phone call so she should not have bothered calling because I don’t fucken know where all of this is going.
“Fihliwe is sick again. I don’t know whether she is dying or what. She is constantly hot and I don’t know what to do.”
Her voice keeps cutting like she is running. Bloody moron naming my child this stupid name. I do not even get the sense and humor of it.
“Where are you?”
I ask already on my feet wearing Nozi’s slippers. Those are the closet shoes I can find. I wear her slippers at all time but she cannot wear mines. I am a size eight and she is a size seven. I limped to the upstairs guestroom and I found her sleeping.
I kissed her cheeks and she flung her eyes open.
“I am going to town; I just got a call from the hospital. I forgot some of my medication.”
I say praying that my plan works.
“Okay, bring me a mealie meal when you get back.”
I kiss her again and she responds already clinging onto my chest.
“Babe, I have to go before the pharmacy closes. My legs hurt really bad.”
“Then let me take you.” She offers sitting staring at me. What! Hell no!
I laugh hiding my awkward laugh, “so you can sleep on the way? No thank you Mrs Me.”
“Mxm, just go. I’m not cooking I'm just tired.” she leans backwards on the bed.
“Take as much rest as you need babe.”
I perk on her lips again and dash out of the room limping.
“Schwarzenegger!” she shouts.
I will catch her later on; she will have to explain deeply about this sudden name. I limp down the steps, grab the car keys from the kitchen counter and limp out.
I decided to send a text to her, I cannot still get over what she just told me.
“I will catch you later on.” I click send and toss my phone aside.
Driving along the way, people probably think that I have gone marbles. I am laughing to myself. What the hell has gotten into Nozi? That woman will amaze you in different levels of degree.

Arriving at the hospital I find an old woman with this Dudu chick.
“Where is Light?” I ask. I will not have my daughter named after some old dead ancestor I do not know. The ugly woman shooting daggers at me.
“I see, he doesn't even have respect.”
Part of me wants to slap the shit out of her.
“Formalities later I'm here to see my daughter.”
“The same daughter that you haven't seen in months? You’re a disgrace.” the ugly woman shakes her head with disgust written all over her face. She is the least of my worries at the moment.
“I was involved in a car accident, as you can see, I cannot even walk properly. But I did make sure that the baby is taken care of every month. Am I right?”
I shift my focus to Dudd who looks very much warn out.
“Not know please.”
We both keep quiet.

After a long hour of waiting the doctor has just surprisingly shared some concerning news.
“What do you mean you can’t see what is wrong with the baby?’
I ask. “Did you do enough blood tests?”
“Yes, we did. This is not the first time I have delt with a case like this. All the blood tests are negative.”
“That’s bullshit!” I scoff. “You know what, I will this with this my way. I will deal with my daughters' medical issues since you are failing to do one simple thing. Diagnosing her illness.” I click my tongue and grab the samples that were on top of the table. He withdrew enough blood earlier on so this will be of good use. Perks of working in a hospital. I managed to let Dube do the process for me again. And indeed, the results come back negative.
“Maybe izinto zesintu. Tiy also looking into it.” he says before walking out. If that is the road I have to take, that means I will be forced to notify my family which I am very much not ready for. Especially my wife. I sigh in frustration.
I walk out of the LAB and head to the NICU. The baby is tiny. The mother seems to be out of sight and it's just me and Dudu.
“I will talk to my dad and see what we can do. I've ran out of options as well.”
“Please. I am disparate for any help I could get at the moment.”
I feel like a useless jerk. I wrap my hand around her shoulder, I also don’t know what I'm doing.
I am just beyond hurt.” she sniffs.
“I’m sorry.” That is what I can be able to offer at the moment. Someone clears their throat making us turn our heads. That look in Jele’s eyes is making me very uneasy. I detach my hand from her shoulder and shove it in my pocket shamefully.
“Your other baby is outside the parking lot waiting for you.”
I curse underneath my breath. Baqibile wants to be a pest in my life.
“I didn’t come with her.” I confidently say.
“Well, she is waiting for her baby daddy. I wonder how you do it yaz,” he folds his arms and bites the pen.
“You leaving your wife at home to be other women and making them all pregnant. I just don’t get.”
“Leave my wife out of this.” I say through my greeted teeth.
“But you are failing to be a good husband to her. Nozi is such a wonderful woman and trust me every man out there wishes to have a bite of her.”
I don’t know what happened, I found myself punching the hell out of him. There was commotion in the room and we were being chased out like dogs. I will not let another man bully me about my wife. Dudu is looking at him so much hurt.
“I will kill you!” I half shout with my voice echoing across the hallway.
He smirks and turns to leave with his busted lip. The humiliation today is enough for me. How much does one get to take?
“Simphiwe…”
“Not now Dudu.  need to be home with my wife, I'm sure she's wondering where I am.” She nods her head and walks out looking disappointed.
I walk outside and by God's grace no sign of Bagqibile. I got into my car and drove off in a lot of rage. Indeed, pass by the pharmacy before I forget and get that mealie meal. What Jele did there cannot be undone. I get I fucked up by going after what's his.

JELE
Seeing Simphiwe makes me have all sorts of emotions. He fucked me up and continues to fuck me up. He stepped on my toe's countless times without care.
“Did he hurt you?” The worry in Nozi’s voice makes me blush.
“I'm a big boy.”
“Big boys don’t cry. I don’t even want to know what the fight was about.” she laughs getting off the bed but naked.
See why I love her. An adult that you get to have a conversation with.
“Did you buy a pregnancy test like I told you to?” I ask.
“No, I doubt I'm pregnant.” she says taking a pee in the toilet. Doing video call with this woman has had me think I have started to fall in love with her.
“Do it.”
“Nah, I know myself. I am not pregnant.” She is getting defensive and I just know when to drop the topic.
“Okay sugar plum. I miss you.” I say making her blush.
“I miss you too.”
“When are you leaving again?”
“Next weekend.” she replies. Talk about having a simple communicative relationship. I now wish I made a move on her when I first saw her back in the days. I regret not doing so; my life would have been peaceful.
“Will you see me?”
“Of course, uthini uganga. Ngifuna ungibhebhe kamnandi futhi.”
She whispers making me choke of air. This girl has a crazy side I never knew existed.
“What!”
I can't believe she just said that. I continue to laugh loudly and boisterously.
I disconnect the call and continue to laugh my butt off. This girl will seriously be going to be the death of me. Yah neh, the people that we get to keep in our hearts.