SIMPHIWE SHANDU THE HUSBAND

JELE

“Mlando Jele, I beg you.”
“Dudu, do what you want to do sis. I no longer care.” I shouted. Out of all the people to betray me she turns her back on me and does this with a man who has no value in his life. Who doesn’t value his wife!
“Mlando, I know I have hurt in so many ways but please don’t cut ties with me I still need and love you.”
This girl has gotten sick in her head. I have asked her countless times to be unlatch with me but she continues making me a buffoon.
“So, where are you going?”
“He has rented a place to stay for us in town.”
“And you failed to tell me as your boyfriend?”
I don’t believe this. Dudu has crushed my heart and I don’t think I will ever heal from this. “I didn’t think…”
“It's okay. Move on with your married baby daddy who has kids all over the world.”
“What do you mean he has kids all over the world?”
“Just because he will be renting some shack for you, do not be mistaken his action. You know what I'm done with you.”
I think it's time I put myself first and not anyone else.
I have packed all my worldly goods and ready to start over somewhere. I got a better offer in the UK and I am still considering the offer. I have nothing on this side. The woman who would have kept me from leaving would have been my mother. She has departed so I believe that there's nothing here for me beside Nozi who makes me happy.
I can sound a bit selfish but I so damn wish that she could just leave that shame of a man and start over.
“Mkhwenyanya, you cannot leave like this.” her mother says. I do not want anything to do with this family to be honest. They have bitten more of what they can chew.
“I'm done with your daughter, I'm sure she will be happy with her married baby daddy.”
I shove my bags in the boot and close it harshly. Nozi once gave me an earful of closing my car this bad. I find myself smiling. I get in my car and check for any messages. Today she was busy and I got that. But I enjoy spending time with her. I don’t reply so I will just have to wait for her next text. I know that she is married and I know my place. She makes me have that sense of belonging; she makes me forget a lot of things I am facing. The woman who never judged me when I told her about my current relationship and previous skeletons! She also understands where she stands with me.

I passed by the garage to add some fuel to my car. I have gotten used to having a full tank. Nozi is afraid to drive around town in a half tank. Petrol is expensive but women and their fear.
I will just have to go straight to bed without cooking. I am in just no mood for anything. I read Dudu’ massage over and over trying to make sense of the debris she just sent me. This girl does not know as to how much I really adored her. I spoiled outrageously her doting but she never had enough. She saw cheating as a metal tool in our relationship. Meaning she never valued me enough. I toss my phone aside and think of the fun activities I am about to share with Nozi. When I leave, I want to make sure to make the most of the good memories. Hope she will not be attracted to me at some point.

DUDUZILE
I am experiencing a whirlwind of emotions. I feel devastated one moment and angry the next. A broken heart can lead to feelings of shame, doubt, confusion, and anxiety. Understanding my wrongs and processing my emotions is a healthy way to heal from past hurt. If I am able to heal.
“Ay nawe Dudu. You just like degrading yourself.” That is my mother's wrath followed by a click tongue. I play with my fingers not knowing what to do next.
“It was the…”
“I don’t want to hear how you got weaken by a married man when you have a man who would move mountains for you.” she spits venom. I don’t understand why she would get all worked up when I was the one who did the unthinkable here. I go back inside the house to check if my baby is okay. Her temperature is a bit high, which I find very odd. I frown looking at her sweaty face.
I peal the blankets off her tiny boy – her whole body is on fire. I take fright not knowing what to do.
“Ncamsi!” That is my younger sister. She comes in running with flour in her hands.
“Yes,” she looks at me with her eyes already out. People and big eyes, that is just another story.
“I think she is sick. She is burning.”
I say with my voice on high pitch.
“Then what are you waiting for? Send the baby to the hospital!”
That is when I got to realize that – this was the first reaction I meant to take when I felt her temperature.
I picked her up and ran towards the door with Ncamsi following me behind.
“Why run like a mad woman in my house?” My mother doesn’t understand.
“The baby is sick.”
“Sick?” My mother asks with a slight frown on her face.
“Her temperature is high.”
She dusts her dusty hand and places her hand on her forehead. Germs…
“She will be fine. Give me the child. Go boil the water for me.”
The woman is not even looking at me.
“What for?” I ask. She cannot possibly think of burning my first born.
“Do you want this child well or you want to run to the doctors?”
I rather not answer because I do not know what her statement meant. I run to the kitchen to boil the water with the kettle.

I couldn’t take care of her crying lungs. Her sad cries are pulling me apart. I couldn’t just stand there and watch my mother spreading her tiny butt cheeks apart and putting all of the enema in her butt hole.
“She will be fine. Have you told her father?” Ncamsile asks.
I shake my head no and look on the ground in shame. She sighs and touches my shoulder with her floury hands.
“Do you have the wife's numbers/”
“What? No! What will I be doing with the wife's number?” I am shocked. She cannot possibly think I'm a stocker. Simphiwe came into the picture when I was lonely. Jele is always working and has limited time for me. I found myself being attracted to him fully knowing that he was married. How did I know? The mark on his finger says it all. One thing led to another just for one night. Two months down the line I found out that I was pregnant. I did not tell him throughout because I didn’t want to be that girl that breaks families apart. I didn’t want to be labelled as a homewrecker. I kept my pregnancy a secret, even though it was the hardest. I had no other option but to tell the father and he was not pleased. To make matters worse – he hates me even more since I spoke illy about his wife. That night, when he was drunk, he spoke nonstop as to how they always fight with his wife….
“Fihliwe needs to know her family.”
That is the name my mother gave my daughter. I had to hide from everyone that I was pregnant including Mlando.
“Not now Ncamisile.”
“I wonder when. Maybe umntana udinga imbeleko nje. Who knows. We all Africans, we Zulus but our culture differs. Think about it.”
My sister gives me something to think about. I didn’t think of it this way. And another thing, I do not want to put Mlando in an awkward position to make matters worse they work together. I sigh sitting on the bench outside. I am in deep shit than I thought.
“Don't worry, the father will come around.” she says before walking away. Ncamisile is only eighteen but has the mouth of a forty-year-old.
His numbers are still taking me to voicemail. I wish I knew where he was or stayed. I sigh annoyed.
I try Mlando – his phone rings but takes me straight to voicemail after. I admit I have done the worst and the unthinkable. I have just turned my life upside down for the worst.