Yn stark- the girl with the scars

Part 5

I look at my arm and then i look in the mirror. I hate myself, I hate everything about me. I hate the way I look and I hate the way I act. I hate everything.

Then as I cut my self some more I hear banging on the door. I hear dad's voice and then i hear Mj's...

"yn can you open the door please" i hear her say. She sounds like shes been crying...

I want to open the door, I really do but i can't. I'm to weak to move. Then I hear dad blast the bedroom door open with his suit. Then he blasts the bathroom door open and sees me sat on the floor with blood pouring out my arm. There's 2 ways this can go. option 1: dad actually cares about me and isn't mad. Or option 2: dad is furious.

Luckily for me it isn't the latter.

He runs up to me and grabs a towel putting my pressure to my arm. Mj however is stood there shocked.

"yn..." he says with tears in his eyes.

"I-I'm sorry, p-please don't be mad" i say, with tears storming out my eyes.

dad picks me up and takes me to med bay. Once again I'm met with the darkness of which I've started to enjoy.

When i wake up Mj is sat holding my hand.

"hey Mj..." instead of her saying hey back she slaps me. I guess i kinda deserved i but wow come on Mj. Then she hugs me.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asks with tears in her eyes.

"I just didn't want to be a burden I guess, plus I knew you would be mad"

"I don't care if I'm mad you tell me! I'd never judge you, yn your my best friend and I love you. When you went missing I didn't know what to do and it broke my heart knowing that my best friend was out there some where in pain."

"I-I'm sorry"

"no! don't be I just don't want you to be hurt. so are you keeping anything else that's important to yourself?"

should I tell her? I haven't told anyone... i take a deep breathe and as i say it i look down not being able to look at her. "w-when i was kidnapped it was by one of moms dealers a-and apparently she owed them money or something... h-he took me to pay the debt and he, he um he r-raped me" I try to keep my tears in but it doesn't work. Mj hugs me tight and sstrokes my hair.

"oh yn... h-have you told anyone?"

i shake my head.

"yn i think you need to tell someone, maybe your mom? you guys used to be really close and well if not her the your dad"

"Mj no! he can't know! promise me you won't tell my dad"

"tell me what?" the billionaire says walking in.

i wipe my eyes "nothing"

"yn-" mj says trying to reason with me

"mj no!"

"yn was-"

"no mj shut up!that is not your story to tell a-and if you tell anyone i will never forgive you!" i say with sobs. I get up and try to leave but dad stands in front of the door. "dad move!"

"no."

"I swear to fucking god move!"

"Yn I'm not moving" he says calmly.

" I cut myself one time and now your being all protective? wow."

" it wasn't just one time though was it! i saw your arm and its littered in scars"

" so what it's not your body it's mine!"

"and your my daughter!"

"so what if i'm your daughter it means NOTHING!"

"yn just get back in the bed"

"no"

"fine!" he says and picks me up taking me to the bed. I kick and scream but he dosen't let go.

"i hate you!"

"i love you too" he say cuffing me to the hospital bed. wow what a great sense of deja vu i have right now. Only thing is last time i was raped.

"why do i have to stay here?" i ask with anger filling me.

" because I don't know what your going to do to your self and I want to ask you a few questions!" Mj leaves and the questions begin.

"ask away" i say.

" why do you do it?"

"do what?"

"yn don't play dumb"

i sigh "things get too much sometimes and i can't control anything else so this is the one thing i can control"

"you mean with your mom?"

"yep..."

"she loves you know"

"she might love me, she might love you but that doesn't matter because she loves the drugs a bit too much more."

dad lets out a sigh knowing im right. "when did you first start hurting yourself?" he asks holding back tears. he hates how he didn't realize how much pain you were in and this is how you deal.

" i don't know... like a year or two ago. i-it was whilst mom was in rehab. You were drinking to deal with things and this was and is my way of coping..."

"yn please stop, this is so dangerous" my dad begs.

"o-okay, I'll try"

"good. now last question, what don't you want me to find out?"

"dad please..."

"yn no, just tell me"

"i um i was..." i can't say it, not to him. dad will be so angry and i can't and won't have him pity me even more. Instead I just started crying. Dad decides not to push and just hugs me. He gets Bruce to do some more checks on me and then he lets me leave med bay.