In The Maze

Chapter fifteen (Y/N)

This chapter was a struggle and I'm still not happy with it. But I needed to post it or I would've continued to overthink everything. I hope you like it.

And thank you so, so, so much to everyone who has read, bookmarked, left kudos, and commented on this fic! I can't tell you how much that means to me and I'm extremely grateful:) Every interaction with a reader is like gold to me. You all rock!!!

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"I'm glad Alby let your punishment begin tomorrow instead of tonight," I mumbled into Newt's chest, my voice muffled by his shirt.

"Yeah. Me too."

We were cuddled up together in his room. His strong arms around me, holding me carefully; making me feel safer than I ever have before. He pulled the thin blanket closer to my chin and tucked it near my shoulder.

I smiled as he fretted over me, constantly doing everything he could to make me feel comfortable. His love helped me forget about the past two days, providing me with something good to focus on instead. I kept my face pressed against his chest and allowed him to continue his affectionate ministrations.

Once he was satisfied with his work, he settled down again and draped his arm across my shoulder on top of the blanket. He placed a tender kiss on the tip of my nose, chuckling when my cheeks blushed pink.

"I was wonderin,'" he began, slowly, "Well, I was wonderin' if you'd like to stay together more often. At night, I mean."

I giggled. "You mean sleep together? Like we are now?"

He nodded, blushing like crazy. "Only if you're okay with it though. Ya certainly don't have to."

"I'd love that, honey." I brought my hand up to caress his cheek, lightly stroking his pale skin. The way he leaned into the touch made my heart soar. "You're fucking adorable, you know that?"

His cheeks up to his ears turned pink and he smiled. "'M not. Although, I do appreciate hearing you say it."

"Then I'll say it as often as I need to until you believe it."

"You're too good to me, ya know that?" He nuzzled into my hair, placing another feather-light kiss on my temple. "I love you, (Y/N). So bloody much. I don't know what I did to deserve you."

"I love you too, Newt," I whispered back, barely able to keep the wobble from my voice. "More than anything."

"Hey. What's wrong, Love?"

"I- It-it's nothing. I just..."

He picked up on my hesitancy and was quick to offer soft reassurances. Newt isn't one to beat around the bush, but he understands the burden of trauma and is too empathetic to push someone before they are ready. Yet another one of his qualities I adored. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I'll never push ya. I'm here if you need advice, want to think somethin' through, or just need an ear to listen."

My god, I don't deserve Newt. I could live a thousand lifetimes and still be undeserving of his love. And to think, I nearly lost him.

My first instinct was to spill my guts to him. To let loose all of the convoluted thoughts hanging over my head like a cumulonimbus cloud, ready to burst in a torrent of negativity at any moment. Keeping your emotions bottled up never ended well and I would inevitably break down under the weight of it all. If I did, I know that Newt and Minho would undoubtedly be there to catch me if I stumbled.

But I would only be delaying the inevitable. And I'm not a procrastinator.

"It's about... that night." I averted my eyes, shame bubbling up amidst my self-doubt. What would he think? How could I explain that I, trained in combat and self-defense, wasn't able to protect myself from one stupid person? Would he think I'm weak? Or that I didn't care?