MY ROSEMARY II THEODORE NOTT

045.

"Things didn't go so poorly with Lucius, why do you think they will go so with Narcissa?" 

"Because after all, Narcissa was rude. I mean really rude. She even said she didn't like my company but this was of course before the whole truth thing but still," Rose said and placed her head on Theo's shoulder. 

"I need it to go poorly so that I won't have to second guess my already made decision."

Theo didn't say anything although he couldn't help but notice the nervousness in Rose's voice. Over the time, he has seen how her hatred towards the Malfoys has faded ― it wasn't completely gone but it wasn't as strong as before. Theo could tell that Rose was struggling with her feelings and he felt helpless and useless for not being able to give her any advice. 

"You really are going to kick them out of here, huh?" Theo commented. 

"I have to. In order to move on with my life, I have to get them out of my life. Wallowing in the past and what could have been, it's not healthy. I'm tired and angry all the time. I have never been like this and I don't like it. I don't like this new me. I want to go back to who I used to be. The overachiever who gets drunk at pubs and sings ABBA. When have I last sang ABBA? Or had fun?"

Rose looked into Theo's eyes and he could tell she was actually asking him when was the last time she was truly happy. She hasn't been in awhile, it was true. She's been stressed, tired and angry. Upset and miserable even. 

"I just want this to end and I know I could have ended this a long time ago by just forcing them to stay away but I just couldn't do that. Say whatever you want but I am not heartless. And as for their feeling, I do care, in a way," Rose said.

Theo cupped Rose's face between his palms. "You are not heartless, Rosie. I have never thought so. I have been feeling torn  about this whole thing because you are my family Rose, but for a very long time, so were the Malfoys. But not once, have I considered your feelings towards them being heartless. You are a very good person, the fact that you didn't force them to stay away right away proves it."

Rose bit against her tears ― she wasn't one to cry. She hated crying, it made her feel so out of control. Like she wasn't in power anymore. 

"I don't like breaking people's hearts..." whispered Rose. "And I know my decision will break theirs. God, they are horrible people but they aren't good either but they lost a baby. They lost it and then found out that the baby never died, and has lived her entire life without them."

"It seems that they are victims as much as I am."

Rose drew in a sharp breath and exhaled shakily. Her hands were shaking and her bottom lip was quivering the way a child's does when they have fallen off of their bike.

"Fucking hell..." muttered Rose.

"It's okay Rosie," Theo assured but Rose shook her head.

"No it's not but I will manage," said Rose and moved her face from Theo's hold. "While there's nothing I can do about this right now, I can go to Rolf's, drink beer and sing ABBA."

Rose stood up and offered her hand to Theo. "Will you be my date?"

Theo chuckled and kissed Rose's hand. "It would be my honor." 

They jumped on Jacob's pickup truck which he had borrowed for Rose to you for the day. Rose went behind the wheel and drove her and Theo to Rolf's ― a local bar by the harbor. It was the place where everyone went if they wanted to have a little fun. 

Rose needed a time off. Although now she was in Fjällbacka instead of in Cambridge, she hasn't exactly relaxed at all. Malfoys were in her hometown, her mothers were stressing over everything and everyone, and Inez ― Rose's confidant was in England ― which meant that Rose couldn't complain to her all the time.