Who Is She?

Chapter 47

She patted the wall, in search of a light switch.

She felt like she breathed much more freely once the light was turned on. Riley saw a vague figure under the blanket with only the head popping out, looking at the window in a daze.

Alright, she doesn't seem to be in a good condition.

"Hey!" Riley said in a cheerful tone. She had talked with multiple people that were in a similar condition to Alex's mother but that was different in a sense that they were either in shock after murder or watching someone being murdered or something else. And no one was in the same condition for 2 years.

Alex's mother- Linda- didn't acknowledge her presence as if she didn't hear her.

"I'm Lillian. You can call me Riley too." She said dragging a chair near the bed so she sat right in front of Linda- blocking her view.

Linda glanced at the intruder before dropping her gaze.

Her eyes reminded Riley of Lillian's when she first met her. Cold. Dead.

But there was more emotions behind Linda's eyes. Helplessness and someone screaming for help.

She knew that some people refused to get help from professionals and Linda was one of them and Riley wanted to help her.

She had learnt a thing or two thanks to her psychiatrist brother, Zach, and she gained some experience while dealing with numerous people while investigating a crime.

Some people wanted people to break their walls and forcefully attach themselves to them while some maintained a cold shoulder to everyone and everything by being- or pretending to be- indifferent to their pain. If you ignore it, it'd eventually go away, won't it? They'd say.

And some wanted to talk to someone who went through the same thing. Emotions may differ, but they both suffered and they would have something in common.

"You remind me of someone I know." Riley started, reminiscing in a regretful tone.

Linda laid there motionless, giving no indication that she was listening, looking outside through the window.

"She died." Riley chuckled as she thought of her friend dying in her arms. It should've been her....

Linda suddenly felt a cold breeze wash over her when she heard her but still continued to lay motionless.

"She was strong, brave and the most optimistic person I had ever met."

Linda was confused. Why was she telling her this?

"She had... attentive parents." Riley paused, thinking of the right word and decided she would be herself with her. "My parents weren't like hers. My father couldn't care less about me. Whether I died or lived, it doesn't matter." She said out loud what was in her heart.

It hurt her when she admitted to herself that Vincent didn't- and probably will never- care about her but saying it out loud made it even more real and painful if it was possible.

Linda listened to the young girl as she vent. Gone was her coldness when others talked to her. When her son begged her to talk to him. Alex used to take her out so they could spend more time together.... so that she would stop thing about Alex's father- Carl.

She just silently laid there when the housekeeper called her a burden. And maybe she was a burden in a way, who knows.

But now, she felt pity? For a girl she'd barely talked too?

She couldn't think about a time when she didn't care about her son. He and Carl were her whole world.

"It should've been me." Riley said, closing her eyes tightly- trying to shake off the bad memories. Her waking up in the hospital, they were able to save her but at the same time couldn't.

"They saved her. That was when I knew that you never know what happens behind closed doors."

Both of them didn't say anything for a few minutes.

"The girl I was do envious of.... didn't have a picture perfect life like she'd shown everyone. Her mother wanted to be model so bad but one dead end after another.... she gave up.

She tried using underhand methods to achieve her dream. Even if it meant sleeping with someone. When her dreams were on the verge of coming true, she found out she was pregnant.

Abortion was out of the question since she didn't belive in it. And she didn't want to give up her child either. The father left humiliated her and told her to leave him alone when she told him that she was pregnant."

Riley paused and looked at Linda's face. She saw her taking a deep breath, trying to process the information.

"She saw my friend's beauty and enrolled in a lot of children's beauty pageants and strictly monitored her diet. She tried living her dream through her daughter and even married a good man. She developed eating disorder in her teen years.

She defied her mother and became a cop. She was shot while saving me, it grazed her cheek bone and hit her hip.

Her face was disfigured and she would never walk without a limp. Her parents came to visit her and her mother freaked out when she saw her face.

My friend has been living as perfect as possible because that was what her mother taught her. She couldn't live with a disfigured face. She chugged down a bunch of pills when no was watching her and died. She left me a note saying it wasn't my fault.

But I couldn't help but feel guilty for a long time. Maybe there was something I could've done. Maybe. Just maybe it was different.

My sister explained that there was nothing I could've done. She made the decision to give up her life for me, I couldn't have prevented it. Sometimes, things just happen that you can't prevent them from happening no matter how bad you want to.

It wasn't my fault

It isn't your fault either." Riley said recalling how Lillian had helped her through the hard time.

Linda slightly shook her head. It was. If she had been a little more attentive she would've known something was wrong with her husband. She could've saved him..... if she had been a little more attentive.

"How could you have known?" Riley asked looking at her sympathetically but slightly optimistic. Linda responded not verbally, but she did and it was a step in the right direction.

"Sometimes people are really good at hiding their pain. So well, that you can't tell they are in pain. I didn't know my friend was in pain either when she committed suicide. So don't blame yourself, there's nothing you could've done."

Linda's eyes flooded with tears, she closed her eyes tightly and wiped them. It was hard to accept it.

'There was nothing you could've done.'

Nothing? She couldn't have done anything to save her husband?

~~~

AUTHOR'S NOTE

TO AVOID CONFUSION THE STORY RILEY SAID WAS PURELY HERS AND ONLY THE NOT CARING PARENTS SHE MENTIONED WAS LILLIAN'S. (ACTUALLY SHE ONLY MENTIONED HOW SHE FELT ABOUT HER BIO FATHER SO IT COULD ALSO BE INTERPRETED AS SOLELY HERS?)