Bunny

75

I spent each day for the rest of the week trying my hardest to not talk in any way that might be too far from how I used to.

I had to stop myself from saying 'ain't' a few times but it was getting easier.
He told me my tone and the softness of my voice had always stayed the same but my vocabulary shifted like I was trying to be something that I wasn't.
And I wasn't. I genuinely did not feel like I was purposefully trying to talk the way that they did in Westdale.
But I've been hanging out with them and only them for a year and a half.
It was hard to not pick up on how they speak.

Personally I feel more entitled to the speech than he is, but I kept that to myself.

"What you wanna eat?" Isaiah asked me.
"Can we cook together? It's been a while since we've done that." I stated.
"Yea, let me get dressed and we can go to the store."

~~~

We walked through the aisles looking for the ingredients we needed for the dishes we planned to make.

"Which brand?" I asked and showed him two.
"Which one did we use the last time?"
"They don't have it."
"Damn."
"I know, right?"
"Go with left." he decided.
"Okay." I tossed the left brand into the cart and put the right back on the shelf.

We continued walking until we turned the corner to go down another aisle.

There was somebody on this one.

I recognized her.

"Isaiah?!" she called.

He sucked his teeth. "Hey, Nina." he replied.
"Why do I run into you like once a year?!" She began approaching us.
Isaiah put his arm over my shoulder.

"How've you been?" she asked him and still hadn't even acknowledged me.
"Straight." he responded.
"Oh my god, I tried getting in contact with you to catch up as friends and I couldn't even find you."
"Damn."
"I know, right? Such a shame."
He didn't respond.

"Well, it was so good seeing you again, bae." She tried going in for a hug and my hand stopped her.
"Don't fuckin' play with me. I let you talk and ignore me all you want but back the fuck up." I instructed.
She just stared at me in shock. "Oh, somebody must've already gotten to him and now you're on edge. You do not scare me, little girl. If I wanted to fuck him, I could and I would." she told me.
"Fuck no." Isaiah interrupted.
"Move before I embarrass you in this store, bitch." I replied.
"Girl, who the fuck are you talkin' to?!"
"Play dumb all you want to."
"Willow." Isaiah called.
"Please stay in your lane. I just got my nails done." Nina responded.
I shoved her hand. "Fuck your cheap ass nails, bitch."
"Keep playin' with me and I will be fuckin' him. You can't do shit with me."
"Bitch, try me." I instructed and stood in her face.
"Willow." Isaiah said again.
"Girl, back the fuck up." She tried shoving me but I pushed her hand out of the way and shoved her instead.
"Alright, bitch." She began taking her earrings out.

I was ready until I saw Isaiah walk past me and down the aisle.
He wasn't pushing the cart and he kept going.

I watched him head for the exit of the store.

"Isaiah!" I called and jogged after him.

I made it outside and he was getting in the car.
I got in the passenger seat.

"What happened?!" I asked him.
"I'm gonna bring you back to my place so you can get your stuff and then I'm gonna bring you home." he explained while backing out of the parking lot.
"What...?"

He didn't answer, he just kept driving.

We sat in silence and I was wondering what was happening.

We arrived back at his apartment, obviously grocery-less, and I stopped him from getting out.

"Why did you do that?" I asked him.
"I think we need a break."
"What...?" My voice cracked.
"It ain't your fault."
"Is it for her?" I wondered.
"No, Willow and you knew that before you asked me."
"Then why?"
"It ain't your fault. I just...I don't like what you've become after me and you got together."
"What?" I whined.

"That wasn't old you. Old you would've let me handle it because you knew I would've. She wouldn't try to start a fight. I've had exes that used to get in fights a lot and Nina was one of them and I'm tired of that. You weren't that until today. If being in this environment or whatever you said is the reason you're changing into this then I don't want you in this environment anymore. I don't wanna bring you down. And I wouldn't be happy feelin' like I'm not datin' the person I wanted to date. You ain't her."
I stared down and tried processing what I was hearing.
"You definitely meant to do more than get high with me, curse, and get into fights. I know you. You're supposed to be somethin' big, and if I'm or the people around me are what's keepin' you from that then...I don't want you around me. You changed in a year and a half. I don't wanna know what you'd be like in another year. I miss the old Willow. The thug one isn't my type and I don't wanna settle. I ain't mean to have that effect on you."
I wiped the tears that leaked down my cheeks and got out of the car without saying a single word.

I didn't mean to.
I didn't mean to change and I didn't mean to do what I did while I was at the store. She just made me mad ignoring me and hitting on Isaiah.
Would old me have done it? No.
But old me was walked over a lot.
Maybe I should've handled it differently, but it's too late now and...I lost my first boyfriend because of it.

I took the elevator to his apartment and cried while inside of it.