Should I Stay

Chapter 7

Connor's POV

I opened my eyes, looking at the empty space beside me. It has been a weeks. Weeks of this empty void. No Katey to be the first thing I see when I wake up and the last to see before I fall asleep. She was gone. She was gone to America because she couldn't deal with being with me. She was sick of me... Of us.

I never expected to love her, I never planned to. God, did I hate her attitude when we first met. I hated the thought of being stuck with her for the rest of my life. Now I hate the thought of never calling her my wife.

I rolled over, grabbing an empty beer bottle and throwing it against the door. It shattered into a hundred pieces. I knew I shouldn't have, it only made the throbbing in my head worse. I popped 4 ibuprofen into my mouth and washed them down with a swift gulp of some random alcoholic concoction that I had drunkenly made. I gagged at the bitter and slightly rotten taste it left behind. It reminded me of how Alisa's perfume reeked. Always too sweet, like rotten fruit. I sighed as I remembered last night.

***

"Baby," She hopped onto mine and Katey's bed, "I think it's about time to spend the night." She curled up on Katey's side of the bed, using her pillow.

I shook my head, I couldn't do that. As much as I let myself do when I was drunk sleeping with her was not one of them. Especially not here, not in Katey's bed. Somehow that was just so wrong, I mean the sheets haven't even been washed since she left. She still lingers here. "I'm sorry, but I can't do that. This house isn't even mine, it's my parents and they bought it for Katey and I." She rolled her eyes so hard it looked like they would fall out.

"She's been gone for weeks, she left you! Get over it. This isn't her house. You can't use her as an excuse." She got out of the bed.

"I'm sorry that I can't just magically get over my fiancée." I turned to walk out of the room, I needed some space.

"EX FIANCÉE." She screamed, "Okay, I'm gone." She pushed her way past me and walked down the stairs. I heard the door slam shut. It was pretty bad when the bitch didn't even want me.
***

I groaned as my phone buzzed. I just knew it would be my mother calling to nag me about how I need to stop drinking or stop being with the bitch. It's a ritual. I picked my phone up only for it to say Mae, I breathed a sigh of relief. Finally someone I could stand. Luckily, it was just a text that was inviting me over later. Of course I accepted that offer.

Ever since Katey left they were the only people I could truly stand. Alex and Mae were the best friends I could ever have. They were so understanding of everything... Well not Alisa but I understood. Mae was Katey's best friend.

I decided I should take a shower. As I walked to the bathroom I put on ISSUES, Mad At Myself was probably the only song I could listen to that explained how I felt. Totally living up to my emo stereotype there. I turned on the shower, stripping down and stepping in. I sighed in relief when the water made contact with my skin. I let the warmth wash over me, covering me completely. I rested my head against the wall.

I swear it was like I could feel her here with me. Her smell filled the shower completely. Her body wash was open, just like she had left it, it had such a strong smell that it overwhelmed every other scent. Of course, her favorite All Time Low song would come on only to worsen things. The lead singer belted Jasey Rae, as I began washing my hair. I couldn't help but to sing along. "Call me a name, kill me with words, forget about me it's what I deserve." For some reason, for the first time since I had been back from America, I wanted to forget her.
Why in the hell should I be spending this time crying over her? She left me, it wasn't the other way around. I am doing just what she wants me to. I know she cares, but if I don't maybe she'll feel the pain I feel. Maybe she could understand why I was so cold and bitter the one time I spoke with her. Maybe she needed me to not to care. One thing is for sure, I needed me not to care.

*** AUTHORS NOTE***
Sorry it toke so long to get another chapter to y'all. I was almost done with the other chapter I'm writing but I decided maybe a Connor POV would be cool. Sorry it's short, but I'm should be updating before too long considering I've already got the other chapter about half way done. AND THAT IS CONNOR UP TOP IN THE PICTURE.