I See Colors | Taegi

sixty

School is finally over.

   I only saw Yoongi twice today.
   Once in astronomy,
   where he waved at me with
   such an admirable grin.
   And the second time was at lunch
   with Hoseok, Jungkook, Seokjin,
   and Namjoon.

We only talked once,
when he leaned into my ear
and whispered:
"Happy birthday, Tae."

   I've grown back into the idea
   of having a friend group,
   based on how exciting it is
   when there are more people to talk to
   about your interests.

   I thought getting adjusted to the change
   would take much longer
   than it actually did.

   I've just finished changing into
a simple large white t-shirt
and baggy black pants.

I have my glasses on
since I don't normally wear contacts at home
unless I forget which,
now that I think about it,
happens rather frequently.

I have two glasses.
The first ones are small black ones,
which I wore during middle school.
My friends used to joke
about me looking like Harry Potter in them,
even though they're rectangular.

The other ones are
larger silver colored aviator glasses
which are the ones I'm wearing now.

   I'm not necessarily insecure about wearing glasses.
   They've actually given me
   quite a bit of compliments.
   The only people who laughed at me about them
   were Joonkook
   and my old friends.

   I was definitely more insecure about them
   back then.

   After putting on a brown cardigan,
   I walk downstairs
   and freeze when I see
   my dad standing there.

   "Hey,"
   He greets,
   "When'll Yoongi get here?"

   I check the time on my phone
   and nerves begin to flood through me.

4:32 PM.

   "Any time now."

   He hums as I stand next to him and
   start to fiddle around with
   the end of my bunched up sleeve.

   What will Yoongi be like?
   Will he suddenly change?

   No.
   Yoongi wouldn't do that.

   But I also thought
   my old friends wouldn't leave me,
   then suddenly
   they did.

   "Why don't you wear your glasses more often?
   They look so good on you."

   I nod,
   still staring at the door.
   "Thank you."

For some reason,
   I hadn't even thought about
   what Yoongi would think about my glasses.

   I doubt he would hate them.
   No one ever did.
   They're just glasses
   after all.

   A would you rather question
   had come up in my head the other day.

   Would you rather
   wear glasses
   only to see all the problems the world has,
   or never wear glasses
   but never see the positives?

   It's more of a philosophical question,
   which I do get sometimes,
   but not nearly enough to be recognized as
   a good philosopher.

   I like questioning something about the world
   then finding an answer.

   If I ask a question
   that can't have a direct answer,
   I find myself becoming
   less curious.