I See Colors | Taegi

twenty-two

It is still unbelievable to me
   that I know someone
   who can only see
   in black and white.

   I learned in biology
   that it's more common for men to be color blind
   than it is for women
   because it's passed down on the X chromosome
   and women have two X chromosomes
   while men only have one.

   I also learned that color blindness
   isn't just seeing in black and white.
   My teacher used to say
   that color blindness
   is when someone's eyes
   lost a color to see
   or—rarely—whose eyes can't see
   any color at all.

   Knowing this has been making me dislike
   our astronomy teacher
   for almost always picking on Yoongi
   to answer a question involving
   colors.

   I want to say something,
   but it would be disrespectful
   and I would get in a lot of trouble.

   So I wait
   until lunch begins
   and head to the music room.

   As I'm walking down the hall,
   a girl confronts me.
   Her hair is light brown
   and reaches to the middle of her back.
   It looks straightened.

   She's wearing a beige cardigan
   with a white shirt underneath
   along with light blue baggy jeans
   and black sneakers.
   It kind of matches
   the style of clothes I wear.

   "Taehyung-ah.
   Can I talk to you?"

   "Oh...
   Sure, I guess.
   I was going to-"

   "Great!"

   She grabs my wrist
   and leads me through the crowd of students.
   Some of them stare,
   others glance,
   and a few don't even bother.
   She has a light grip,
   as if she's distancing herself from me.

We walk into the library
and sit at one of the long wooden tables
in the back of the room.

"Sorry for interrupting you earlier."
She tells me,
"I've just been meaning to talk to you
and I couldn't wait much longer."

I now learn that she has
a wide grin.

"So...
This'll sound weird."
She lets out an awkward chuckle,
"But, screw it, y'know?"

I don't respond
because I don't feel that
it's my place to.

"Um..."
She played with her fingers.
"I know this may come out as a shocker,
but I've had, uh, an interest in you.
Not because of your looks really,
but because you just seem like
a...uhm, genuine guy.
We don't get those very often."

"I didn't wanna talk to you
because...you seemed to prefer being alone
and I didn't wanna mess that up.
But now that you're hanging out with Hoseok
and his people,
it kind of felt like
my chance,
you know?"

"So, yeah.
I like you.
You wanna date?"

Part of me
expected this
because it happened to me all the time
in middle school.
But the majority of me
didn't think I could get those comments again.
I prefer it that way.

She starts laughing,
and I'm even more
confused.

"I'm sorry.
I was dared to say that."
She covers her mouth.
"I don't like you.
Never have, never will.
You're just...weird.
   Like some sort of
   alien.
And though it's fascinating,
it's also really funny."

   I've never been called an alien before,
   but now I know
   that I don't like it very much.

The more situations I find myself in,
the more I agree with Yoongi.

People have a bad sense of humor.

I stand,
and the chair echoes a low screech
in the close-to-silent library.

"Have a nice day."