It's Complicated

Chapter 10 ~ Toilet Break

Chrissy's POV:

I thought back to the ultrasound I had had earlier this week. It was my first proper one. I decided to go to Queen Elizabeth Hospital this time, despite it being the same one my mum worked at as a nurse. After going OT, I just couldn't be asked to travel long distance again, or at least until the next Raymond sent me back out there again. 

I still hadn't told my mum, not about the pregnancy, not about the 'new job', nothing. But she herself had clocked there was something 'different' about me, and that I had changed. Initially, I wasn't sure if I was gonna keep the baby, so Nat recommended going to get an ultrasound and seeing how I felt afterwards.

By then, I had already crossed abortion out of the picture, as I didn't trust anyone to do it. I want to keep my reproductive organs intact, thank you very much! So it was either adoption or raising a child. After seeing the scan, I wasn't sure whether I could go through with putting my child up for adoption.

I had already lost one child, and quite frankly, I didn't want to lose another.

But do you know what I really found funny? Josh's mum, who's also a nurse at QEH did my ultrasound for me! We've never actually met before, but I was able to recognise her from a few photos Josh had shown me. And she was so nice as well. Josh had told me that she was from Barbados, the same place my dad was from. They had similar accents, it's just that my dad's one was a bit heavier. I wasn't close to my dad so I missed out on a lot of that Bajan upbringing, especially since my mum's Congolese. 

PlantAIN, not plantIN,  sorry.

Not gonna lie, I did breakdown and start crying midway through the ultrasound, which caused Josh's mum, Regina, to stop to comfort me. I just felt like such a bad person. Here I was, letting my baby's grandmother do an ultrasound on me, knowing fully well that that was his or her grandma, but not saying a word. I mean how could I? I hadn't even told the child's dad- her son yet!

Snapping me out of my thoughts, was AJ and Adanna who were busy arguing in the quieter end of the sixth form centre. They had this toxic, on-and-off relationship. I heard that sometimes it would get physical, but honestly? Those two completely deserved each other, hands down.

I remember two different occasions I had caught Adanna getting all flirty and touchy with Josh. Luckily for him, he would always push her away and cuss her bludclart out. He wanted to avoid telling AJ though, probably because he knew he would get violent with her. This was around the time she started doing a ting with AJ, a few weeks before our actual GCSE exams, no wonder why she failed everything and got Ds. You could tell she was with AJ for the clout, cus if he wasn't bait, my girl would've been gone the first time he cheated. He was like the key she needed for unlimited to access to bait people, I swear down!

Me and the skank have never clicked or been friends for obvious reasons. I would have kept quiet about her flirting with Josh though, because a) I was embarrassed on her behalf for her, because how can you offer yourself to a man, for free, on a gold platter, twice, and still get rejected twice, lol?! and b) I wasn't trying to cause unnecessary beef between Josh and any of his friends, especially over something he didn't even know that I knew about.

If this h*e had kept her mouth shut, but of course not! Trust Adanna to go around telling people she was getting chopped by both AJ and Josh. Had people thinking that Josh was cheating on me with...her- a self proclaimed h*e! That was when I decided to share my truth. It all turned into a fight when she she tried claiming that Josh was only with me because I'm light skin- 'yellow'- yellow she called me! That time even Josh wanted me to bang her, because she was basically calling him colourist. Adanna's brown skin, and Josh is dark skin. His mum and his sister are dark skin- what kind of self hatred and hatred for his family would that be? I had to mop up the floor with this girl.