Opening Doors

Chapter 3- 5D

Nizza's POV still...maybe the rest of this shit...
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***Upcoming chapter may be triggering... and not meant for those under 18**

Do you ever feel a strange connection to something? Like you are just drawn to something and you really have like no explanation why on the 3D plane? It's crazy, the last few months aside from being drawn more to nature, I feel especially drawn to the moon. I don't know what it is, but it just brings me in. Do you know?

So where did we leave off, ah yes, the major choice being made... my first divorce court wasn't until October and I was a bit freaking out at this point on how to pay for a lawyer. Maybe if I try a go fund me? Everyone was just like applauding me for what I did on Facebook and asked if I needed anything they'd help, right? Well, I need the money for this, maybe this will work.

It didn't work. I got like someone from work and maybe like 2 others. I even did a video of me talking briefly about what happened and I needed money for this. What I discovered:
1. Eww I look gross.
2. Is that really what my voice sounds like, bleh! 🤮
3. Why do I sound so nervous, I'm normally confident, well, in my head anyway. Why can't I express myself without feeling like I have to delete things?
4. Wow, shocker the people that said they would support me in any way, were a bunch of lying asshats. Can't say I was shocked. It's hot like they were ever really there before, but heaven forbid they needed a pick me up over the years who was the first to be there... see this is why I don't ask for help... I never once ask for help and when I do, it's like can't even spare $10.

I was told by the lawyer Josline gave me that it's going to cost about $3000. I don't have that. One of Ant's last treasures he did before he left was:
1. Break my TV
2. Break my shelves more
3. Took his wallet with all his financial aid money and the $600 he took from my mom's account for bills that were for bills. First I need to figure out how to make up that and pay for that first... I'll ask Rae. Idk who else to ask...

Rae said she would do it! Sweet! Well, that issue is done, but now what, I only work part-time and can't seem to find a full-time job with all these layoffs from covid... what do I do now? Wait, there has to be some sort of assistance, if I remember right someone said something about that in a post... I ... just need to... there! Yep, found it! Legal Action... I'll try that out and explain the situation. I'm going to make sure this divorce works out. Apparently can't use Cabranes Ant's old lawyer because somehow the poor ass can afford him... I wonder how with that stolen money and the stupid financial aid he should not even be using it in the first place... dick...

Probably for the best, Cabranes is an ass hat anyway. He even said back with the Jess thing that he didn't know why I stayed with him. (Me either.) Yet here he was supporting a guy he didn't really like. Shows what people will do for money, they just put their beliefs aside and go for it. Nah, I'd rather be poor than do something like that.

So I sent in the application, and now I just wait... so while I'm waiting, let me update you on these awesome emotions I have been having the last few weeks since everything happened, shall we?

So right after everything and I filed for divorce and the restitution, I had also called his PO so he knew that he was drinking again. This time I had proof, he left the booze behind. I also gave my blankets to the police and pillows. My headboard was still broken, had to go downtown and file a complaint, and spent all my free time aside from work and taking kids to school in my bed. Just sulking. Felt free and glad he was gone, but after everything felt like I could finally lay in my bed without getting yelled at. I stopped cooking because I didn't want to. I legit only did things I wanted to do for a while. Now I needed to find out what I was going to do next. What were my dreams? What should I work on next for myself?