Riele | | Ryan
10:23 pm, Incoming call~~
Dickhead Ryan~~~
Answer | | Decline
[Answer]
“Just when I thought this night couldn’t get worse.”
“Hey there stalker.”
“What do you want from me now?”
“I believe we have an unfinished business?”
“Which is. . . ”
“Told you it doesn’t suit you playing dumb.”
“You don’t have to point out the dumb one between you and I. That’s your specialty.”
“And here we are, back at square one. Why can’t you just compliment my intelligence for once?”
“Truthfully, I’d love to do that. But the thing is, I’d be lying if I ever say something as such.”
“There’s not a single nice bone in your body.”
“That is where you’re terribly wrong.”
“Suit yourself. Are you sure you don’t remember our unfinished business?”
“Dead sure. Swear on your life.”
“What got my life into this?”
“Forget I said that. Go on.”
“You sure you don’t remember. It’s been roughly complete ten hours.”
“I’m gonna hang up if you ask me that question again.”
“Are you—”
“That’s it.”
[Ends call]
* * * *
10:25 pm, Incoming call~~
Dickhead Ryan~~~
Answer | | Decline
[Answer]
“Why did you cut the call?”
“I clearly told you not to ask the same question. Why did I even pick up?”
“Because you know what I want to say a pretty intelligent.”
“I’m out.”
“Hold up! You didn’t let me finish. I wasn’t gonna ask the same question. I was gonna ask if you were free tonight. So, are you free tonight?”
“Why do I have a feeling you just made that up to keep this pointless conversation going?”
“Oh, look at that! Since we are already talking, how about I continue what I wanted to say this afternoon? Sounds good, right?”
“Go ahead. Just hope you don’t disappoint me.”
“I won’t. I’ll make you proud, stalker. Just trust my intelligence.”
“Trusting your intelligence is like falling off a really high cliff and thinking you’ll survive without a scratch.”
“Let’s not dive into that. As I was saying earlier this afternoon, whilst I was in Maths class, I discovered that Maths is an acronym. And not just Maths, but school and homework also.”
“Oh Christ, I have a feeling this is gonna be real bad.”
“Do you wanna hear it?”
“Can I not hear it?”
“No. You don’t have a say in this. I waited all noon to tell this to you.”
“Can’t you just spare me the mental trauma and tell this to your girlfriend? I’m sure she’s gonna love to listen to your thoughts. I’m not really a big fan of what your brain comes up with.”
“Which girlfriend?”
“I know dumbness is your specialty, but spare me the act.”
“No seriously, which girlf—oooh. I see where all that hostility had been emanating from. You’re still hooked up on the girlfriend thing. Well, to relieve you of the worries my dearest stalker, I don’t have a girlfriend. I do have a girl friend but not a girlfriend.”
I never thought I’d say this, but you’re confusing me.”
“Okay, I’ll explain. I don’t have a girlfriend, as in the intimate type. But I have a girl friend, as in a friend, who is a girl.”
“Well, talk to your ‘girl friend’ then. I’m sure she’ll never refuse.”
“I want to bet on my life you just air quoted that girl friend. And good news, I’m actually talking to her right now. And she just promised she’ll never refuse listening to me.”
“I’m not your girl friend but I would listen. And to clear the air, I wasn’t hooked up on your pathetic lie.”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night. As I was saying, Maths is an acronym, so as school and homework.”
“And what are the words they came from?”
“Maths stands for, Mental Abuse To Humans, omitting the ‘s’ in Maths. School stands for, Seven Cruel Hours Of Our Lives. And homework stands for, Half Of My Energy Wasted On Random Knowledge. Can you believe it?”
“No. I can’t believe it—damn, just when I thought you couldn’t get stupider, you proved me terribly wrong. Way to go, knucklehead.”
“You are just jealous you didn’t come up with such an idea. But tell me something please, why does school exist!?”
“To help brainless, spineless species like yourself. And please, refrain your brain from thinking anymore. Horrible night, sweet nightmares Ryan baby.”
“But—”
[Ends call]
I hate it when she has the last say. But damn, I love when she calls me Ryan baby.
YOU ARE READING
The Prank Call
Short StoryWhat would any sane person do immediately after receiving an anonymous call at one am in the morning? Right-block the number. But the one and only feisty Riele Banks is too stubborn to resist the urge of giving a piece of her extremely intellectual...
