Life changes ( sequel to love never dies )

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Shortly after we are done eating, Serena takes our garbage to dispose of in the office trash and Emily and I are about to start recording again. Before Emily goes back into the booth she hugs me.

,,Thank you for protecting me and my music yesterday. You don't know how much that meant to me." I hug her back.

,,Emily, you are my family and you will always come first in who I protect. Also, music is personal and you trusted me to be the one to produce it, no one else, so I'm not going to let anyone hear it until it's ready or you say so. I promise you that." I feel a teardrop on my shoulder and look up to see Emily crying. She shakes her head.

,,These are happy tears." She explains. ,,You said we are family. I've been waiting since you got back to hear you say that." She cries again and hugs me tighter. I let out a chuckle.

,,Go back in the booth, we have a lot of work to do if we want to get at least two of the songs done today." Emily nods and we work until I have to leave. I have an appointment with Serena, Nate, Chuck, Dan, and Blair. Emily hugs me one last time before we both part ways.

Later that night, after we had some dinner and drinks with Serena's friends, she and I decided to stay in. Serena's been staying over a couple of times a week which I've been enjoying but mostly because it means I'm not always alone at night. I do also enjoy her company. Serena is really easy to talk to, which is comforting but there's also stuff that I feel like I can't be honest with her about.

Like today, I wasn't feeling like going out. I didn't want to socialize especially with people that I don't know much. I couldn't tell her that, tho. Serena never can read me, not like Chloe could read me... No, don't go there. I've already thought of Chloe enough today!

Just as I'm shouting that in my brain, I feel Serena poking me which makes my body flinch back into the present. Serena sits up out of her snuggle position. It seems that every time we watch a movie, she gravitates towards me until we're snuggling. I remember feeling so uncomfortable by it but it kind of went down to feeling awkward. Mostly because my heart keeps comparing Serena with Chloe. That gorgeous redhead is always on my mind. I see her face on a lot of people, even just walking in the streets. No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to stop thinking about her. I guess the saying "love never dies", is true.

,,Beca, please talk to me." That loud call draws me back completely and I look up at Serena who has moved to the complete other side of the sofa. The blonde is looking so serious that I turn off the TV and turn to face her. I don't move forward tho because she looks like she wants space. I wouldn't mind it either, honestly.

,,What's up?" I ask her and she raises her eyebrows.

,,You've been distant all day. Not to mention, you made it very obvious that you weren't happy tonight and all you can say is "what's up?" Beca, talk to me. What's on your mind?" Oh, God! She doesn't sound impressed. I really thought I'd hid my true feelings well but apparently not. ,,Beca, I want you to be honest with me and talk to me about your feelings and everything. I feel you slipping away from me I'm feeling that for weeks now. I don't think you've been into this relationship as much as I have been. Can you tell me why that is?" I look down for a moment.

,,It's my fault that you feel that way." I tell Serena. ,,And you're right, I'm not into this relationship as much as you want to, but that has a reason." I try to fight my tears because I don't want to hurt her. ,,There's so much on my mind and I haven't been able to shut it off, today especially."

,,Why haven't you been into this relationship?" She put her hand on mine. ,,You know I love you and that you can always talk to me. Being in a relationship means you can confide in each other. Recently it seems you don't want to talk to me. Can you tell me why?" Serena is sounding so serious but also a little hurt right now. I want to change that but I'm not sure if I can. I can't just spill out that Chloe's been on my mind.

,,I do like to talk to you. Serena, you're the second easiest person that I've ever talked to. Nearly from the beginning, I felt like I could tell you anything and I knew you wouldn't judge me but this is different."

,,I appreciate that Beca, I do but it's just not enough." I startle a little when she almost yells that and I can see Serena taking a deep breath before speaking again. ,,Beca, please. I won't judge you. I'm part of the non-judging breakfast club, remember?" I laugh for a small moment, but that quickly changes when the tears escape. ,,Hey, you can tell me."

,,No, I can't. Because that will break your heart and I can't do that to you."

,,What are you talking about? You starting to scare me." Serena grabs both my hands now. ,,Hey, we're family. What's you, is me. There is nothing that you could ever say to make me let go. Now, what is it?" I look at her and I know now is the time to say it.

,,I'm still in love with Chloe." Serena doesn't look surprised by my confession, but I can see that it hurts her a little bit.

,,Hey, don't do that." Serena says. ,,Don't feel guilty about telling the truth. You can't help how you feel." I nod.

,,I miss her."

,,Chloe?"

,,Yeah. I tried not to miss her, but I think about her all the time." I put my hand in front of my mouth, full of shame and guilt. Serena puts her hand on my cheek and wipes away the tears.

,,It's okay." She reassures me and now I realize what I said. My eyes widen and my wall builds up again. I can't do this to Serena or Chloe! Yes, I'm still in love with her, but she still cheated on me. I sit a little away from Serena.

,,Oh, God! I'm so embarrassed."

,,Because you just were being honest? Or because you were crying?"

,,Both."

,,Beca, it's okay to cry you know. That means that you care." I stand up and walk over to the window. ,,Beca, what are you going to do now?"

,,What do you mean?" I ask Serena without looking back at her.

,,Beca, you have to go and talk to Chloe about what you just told me." I turn around.

,,No!"

,,Beca, we both know we can't continue our relationship when you love someone else."

,,I love you too." Serena smiles.

,,But you're not in love with me. The love that you feel for Chloe is still inside you and I can't be the one to stand between you."

,,Don't you think I want her back? Because I do, so badly but Chloe probably hates me. She will never take me back after how I treated her. I can't risk breaking my heart all over again, so I will rather be without her."

,,Stop using your fears as an excuse not to talk to Chloe. You never know what Chloe will say or do when you confess to her. Maybe you should go somewhere where you can think for a while. Just to clear your mind. Do you have such a place?" I nod.

,,Yeah, our old dorm room. The one Chloe and I shared in college."

,,Then go there and clear your mind. Go through all your information and find out if you still see a future with Chloe. Think about change and stop being stubborn." I laugh because Serena is right. I need to clear my head and just focus on every information I got from Kara, Mrs. Fuller, Nina, and Emily. I take a deep breath and rub my forehead for a small moment.

,,I don't have a choice. I need to think this through." I look at Serena and pull her in a hug. ,,Thank you for understanding and being here for me, even tho you just broke up with me." She laughs. I get out of her embrace and walk over to the door. I open it, but before I completely walk out of the room, I turn toward Serena one more time. ,,I don't want to lose you as a friend."

,,And you won't. We're family, remember? We can be best friends." I smile at that because Serena doesn't let me fall, even tho we aren't in a relationship anymore. I nod at her for a moment and then I'm on my way to my old dorm room.