ONE ROCKSTAR PER ROOM

26. luna

"It's not for me and I'm not going to play it." He pushes the song into my hands. I take it, crumble and throw to the floor.

"I'm the leader," I say. "Your opinion on that song doesn't matter to me." I can't stop myself anymore. "What? Are you scared people will see you supporting queer people? Is it the problem?"

"Would you shut up?" he grinds out.

I don't think I can wait until Rock Out. I don't fucking care about it, about what happens to the band, to me. I need to stop supporting what's wrong. "So all this fucking time Jungkook was telling the truth and you were fucking lying. He didn't ruin your life, you ruined his. You're manipulative, homophobic, and you blackmailed me into dating you."

Everyone is around now. Jimin, Namjoon, Jungkook, Taehyung. Like they are all ready to get into a fight. Like they know one is about to happen.

"You never cared about me. About Taehyung. About our band. You care about yourself. You're a selfish, fucking-"

His expression keeps darkening, until he raises his arm and swings it back. He raises his arm to hit me. I freeze as I am, with my eyes open wide, unable to even protect myself. Because this is that one thing I'd never expect from him. Or maybe I expected it, but pretended I don't.

The strike never comes. Jungkook who lingered right by my side like he knew exactly what was to come, grabs Yoongi's writs and holds it back. I barely remember to breath, dragging my gaze to him. He looks... terrified. And furious. His grip on Yoongi's wrist so tight he might break his bones.

Everyone gets involved within a second. Taehyung stands in front of me, hiding me from Yoongi. Jimin and Namjoon stay close to Jungkook.

The only thing I can hear is when Jungkook says, "You could have done this to me a hundred times, but you'll never do it to her." Every word is shaky, and I feel dizzy. It hits me all together.

No one moves. I lock eyes with Jungkook after he pushes Yoongi away. It's one second of everything – compassion and pain and apology and fear – and he runs out of the room. Before I can decide, my legs are moving, and I run behind him.

"Jungkook!"

He stops in the middle of the hall and turns around. His gaze is heavy. Even if I haven't known him before I met Yoongi, I feeling like I've betrayed him through all of the years of my friendship with Yoongi.

"Tell me the truth," I say. I can't keep on piecing everything together. "Why did you say that? What happened between you?"

He looks away for a second, sucking in a sharp breath.

"If... if you want to," I add, crumbling. "You don't have to if you don't want to."

When he looks back at me, the heaviness is gone. The light in his eyes dims. "I was the leader of this stupid band, but he wanted everything to be his way. Music, lyrics, performances, name, recording, positions in the band. In the last two years of the band, when I wouldn't agree to something, he'd manipulate me into it. Emotionally, mostly. Sometimes he'd beat me up, if I didn't want to give in easily. When the other members of the band would ask me what happened, he'd tell them I got into a fight with some assholes on the street. He controlled me for a year, abused, manipulated, until everything was like he wanted it to be. I couldn't break free from him. I kept protecting him, from myself, until I broke. That's all he cares about. Himself. Whatever crap he told you about his feelings, he's doing this because he will benefit from it. And from being in your band. And from every single thing he gets into."

"I'm sorry," I say. Nothing else can make it through my throat.

I'm sorry for not believing him.

I'm sorry for making a bad guy out of him for so long.