ONE ROCKSTAR PER ROOM

21. luna

Our practice today lasted four hours. One week left, almost Rock Out, we don't need more. Also, what I found weird, was Jungkook texting me when our time was up, telling me we can keep the room for as long as we want, because they won't be practicing today.

I didn't make anything out if it, but now I'm back in our room, and he's rolled in a blanket, watching Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus. I can literally smell the sadness in the room.

"You good?" I ask, dropping the guitar to the floor.

He only hums. I circle the bed, bend over and drag the blanket down a little bit.

"Are you alright?" I ask again, not quite playful anymore.

"Just... low," he mumbles.

"Then why aren't you watching Zootopia?"

He looks up at me, and his lips slowly stretch into a smile. "You remembered."

Maybe I don't know about him as much as he knows about me, but now that I think about it, I've been learning quite a lot about Jungkook and I seem to remember it all.

Because I don't quite like seeing him sad, (I kinda want to hug him and give him whatever makes him feel better), I lie on the free side of the bed and search for Zootopia. I've never seen it before, but I bet it's a movie about talking animals, with some heartfelt and deep message.

"Of course it's talking animals."

"It's cool, I promise," Jungkook says. "Nick kind of reminds me of Taehyung."

"Let me check."

I have my eyes on the TV, but I can't quite focus on the movie. I feel rushed, like I'm not doing something I should be doing. Like there's something I want to do, but I'm not quite sure what it is. It takes me half of the movie to realize I can't just lie here and watch Zootopia when he's sad. I want him to feel happy. And it's urgent, like a broken fucking spine. Maybe I got used to seeing him smile and laugh all the time, and my heart is heavy when he's not grinning at me.

When I think back, through all the years I've known him, I never felt at ease seeing him upset. There was always a bothering itch in my body, whenever he was feeling low, even when I wasn't the cause of it. /Especially/ when I was the cause.

And while being sad is just as human as being happy, there are people you'd want to experience nothing but the good days. People you think deserve only the sunny days. I guess we'd call each other friends now. I want Jungkook to be happy just as much as I want Taehyung to be happy.

Another scene between the bunny and the fox comes on. I think they are fighting. I've barely caught what the movie is about. But they are fighting, and the bunny looks devastated. The fox is disappointed. Maybe the break up. Are they a couple?

Not the point.

The point is that Jungkook sniffles as soon as the fox walks away.

"Is it the movie or something else?" I ask, after a moment of choked silence. He's never shed half a tear around me.

"Something else, I guess." He mumbles.

I don't know what our limits are, but as he keeps sniffling, probably not because of the movie, I turn onto my side and wrap my arm around his waist, his back pressed into my chest. And he cries.

He trusts me enough to cry around me. For a moment I feel guilty, because he knows what to do when I'm upset, and I don't. But he finds my hand, locks our fingers, and pulls me closer, like it's exactly what he needs.

His hand is warm, soft, and big around mine. It's hard to breath when I put my whole focus on our hands – bodies – pressed together so tightly. I've tasted bits and pieces, and I fucking love any sort of physical contact with him. There, I said it. I could glue myself to him and I'd enjoy every second of it.