Crush

26 | Lost Forever

Kian stood there frozen to see the sparkling black orbs that had been haunting his dreams for months staring up at him.

"Kiki," his voice still sounded like raw music of love and passion. Kian tried to catch his breath and speak, but the wind-scoured past his nose and mouth, constricting his throat with the pain in his head and ache in his heart, leaving him gasping. Most of all, it was his beauty that left him breathless all over again, just like the first time he met him in the same café.

Enzo crossed the rest of the space between them and placed his hands on the counter, trapping Kian from either side. "Kiki," Enzo whispered again, his voice a mix of plea and hope.

The closeness of their bodies seared Kian's mind with the memories of their stolen kisses, the late-night video calls, the forever promises, and the warmth that his love brought into Kian's chilling nightmares. And he had spent endless nights yearning, crying, wishing everything went back to the way things were before he saw his forever with someone else, someone better, someone who could give him a life he couldn't.

And now Enzo was there, his hands on either side of his body, close but not touching. His lips inches from Enzo's, red and tempting. His chest was heaving with the impact of harsh breathing, and Kian was instantly consumed with the need to kiss the boy breathlessly. That's what he wanted to do for months, and now Enzo was there, and all Kian did was look at him.

Then Kian truly looked at him. Enzo's eyes were desperate and glassy, like the times when he had one of his anxiety attacks. "Enz? Why are you here?"

"Can't you tell?" Enzo breathed, his eyes soaking in Kian's features. "I'm here for us, Kiki."

Kian shook his head. He tried to push away Enzo, but he couldn't. He squeezed his eyes, pushed his spine some more to the counter, trying to gather his mind around the boy, and finally gazed up at him. "I thought our 'us' is lost in your dumbness and my stupidity."

"Never," Enzo said, dropping his head on Kian's shoulder and sighing. "Tell me what I did to deserve your cruelty. God, Kiki. Just tell me, and I will leave."

Kian felt his anger resurfacing as the images of the red-haired girl sitting on his boyfriend's lap reeled in front of his eyes. "Are you that dumb, Enzo Santiago?"

"What-"

Before Enzo could complete, Kian flipped them over, and now Enzo's back was leaning on the counter while Kian tackled him between his hands, vise against the edge. "I can't share you with anyone, Enzo. I know you're into girls and would rather date a girl with soft features like Zarina Swan than me. So, fine if that's what you prefer. Stop pretending to love me when all you need is friendship from me. We should've stayed friends."

"Wait," Enzo laughed dryly, shaking his head. "Where is all this coming from? Which friends kiss or make love or get aroused with the mere image of their friend in their mind? You're my boyfriend, Kiki? You hold my heart and share my soul. We can't be just friends. It's a little too late for that, don't you think?"

Kian relaxed his hold around Enzo and stepped away. Now they were both leaning on the counter side by side, their shoulders touching, and Kian could feel Enzo's shot-up heartbeat through the contact, a match with his own. "I saw your friend's post with that redhead girl sitting on your lap and all those Enzarina tags. It was trending on Twitter. Not so subtle, was it?"

A deep silence fell around them, consuming both in it. Enzo pulled away, and Kian's heart caved with the loss of his touch. Without saying anything back in his defense or at least accepting what he did, Enzo walked towards the door, his back facing Kian and clutching the doorknob in his fist. "You know, Kiki, I can tell you my version of the story, but I'm sure that wouldn't make any sense. If we don't have trust, then we have nothing. If you ever find yourself in a position to trust me again, you can come to find me. I'm staying at a motel two blocks from your place. I'll send you the address if you haven't blocked my number yet. Just don't be too late. I'm back on the road tomorrow."