xxxvii

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This is a tale of the grief unforgotten
Scrawled in the sheets of a once irenic mind
Of a girl who used to have dreams
Of a kid who just grew up

When world was once sweet and nice
Once gentle and true and tender
Not a touch of wickedness and darkness
When her innocence was nothing but a bliss

But then, she was awoken in her reverie
When autumn tore the leaves of her time
Slipping through her fingers
And falling before her eyes

She blinked and she was not a kid anymore
The time has already passed by
The world has suddenly turned bland and bitter
And she wondered, how will she ever survive?

Still, she fought like a soldier at war
Braving the wilderness and the lurking bedlam
She was sure she will make it
And be the kid she once was.

In the middle of her battle, she stopped
And asked herself why does it not stop
Then slowly realized how worn-out she was
So she laid herself at rest and said, “It's enough.”

That night, she swallowed her reality
Thinking that it was the only way for respite
Her tears helped her downed twenty six of it
The taste was vile against her tongue

She slept a dreamless sleep
Not expecting to wake up either
But when she opened her eyes the next day
She laid at her grave and thought, “How sad.”

She was angry at the world
And wanted another dose
But she only watched it as it all goes down the drain
The truth is, she did not really want to die.

She didn't really wanted to succumb from it
She just wanted an end
A rest from the uncertainties
And a gateway for peace.

So she fled.
Away from that suffocating place
Away from the faces she fear
Away from corners of the room where her grave remained untouched

Today, she remembered it all
Every details crystal clear
And though it didn't stop
At least, she was on the way there

Although it still lingers and pokes her mind from time to time
And there are still glimpses of the fear and hurt from that night
But learned to distinguish the amber
Before it can even grows into a wildfire.

The world is not sweet
It is not nice
And there will be always storms
But she will brave the wild.

This is a tale of the grief unforgotten
Scrawled in the sheets of a once irenic mind
Of a girl who used to have dreams
Of a kid who just grew up.

This is the tale of the grief remembered
Scrawled in the sheets of an irenic mind
Of a girl who is starting to dream once again
Of a kid who grew up and survived.

This is the tale of the grief rememberedScrawled in the sheets of an irenic mindOf a girl who is starting to dream once againOf a kid who grew up and survived

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Artwork by: Kathrin Honesta

xxxvii: memoirs

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