The second chance

Chapter 13

When I woke up in the morning and opened my eyelids, I saw Erick lying on his side. He supported his head with a clenched fist and watched me thoughtfully. Since he was only covered by a blanket from half the waist down, he exposed his perfect torso to my admiring eyes.

"Good morning," I spoke first.

"Good morning," he replied.

"Wow, we had a good night, didn't we?" I concluded and quickly remembered how we had flown into it several more times during the past hours.

"We overshot," he cooled my enthusiasm.

"But what," I rolled my eyes. I held the quilt on my chest with one hand and sat up. I didn't expect that after such a pleasant night he would start going crazy again. I thought we were over this. I was obviously wrong.

"You're a beast," he said in a lower tone, staring at my chest. "You got me where you wanted me."

Those words hurt me. They acted on me like an ice shower on a heated body. I naively thought that we had already moved somewhere. Somewhere forward. But no matter what I did, it wasn't enough. It was always just a step back.

"Erick," I wrinkled my face and sank back onto the bed. "You wanted it too."

"Jesus," you covered your eyes with your hand, "certainly not my mind, but the bird went its own way. Do you think that when you appear in front of me almost naked, the animality in me will not prevail?"

"You sang differently yesterday," I raged.

"You didn't give me a choice."

I suddenly had the feeling that last night was just a dream. That it was all just a figment of my imagination playing with my mind. Was such a thing even possible? Was everything mixed up in my head, or was he really able to turn around so quickly?

All night he paid me sweet compliments and pulled strings of honey under my nose. He touched me almost respectfully on every centimeter of my body, cuddled with him, took from me everything I was willing to give him and that was not enough. I reciprocated his love and tenderness in equal measure and also did him with my mouth. At night it didn't seem to bother him at all. On the contrary, he enjoyed our connection as much as I did.

The hard sobering of my love for him came extra quickly. I felt like a brush that guys pay for one night to make them happy and go home in the morning without saying a word. How could he do such a thing to me? Bitter tears of disappointment welled up in my eyes, but for nothing in the world I would not let him know how he hurt me.

"You... you one," I fumed.

All red with anger and humiliation, I got out of bed. I took the blanket with me, tucked it under my armpits and wrapped it tightly around myself.

"Raegan," he reached for me, but I pulled away. "How can I explain it to you?"

"And what?" I pulled the duvet up to my chin.

He sat down on the bed and shook his head weakly. I knew that I didn't make it any easier for him, but that was only because he also made everything difficult for me.

"Now I don't know if you're not fussing over something, or if you're really so clueless or full of imagination, but I really don't know how to explain it to you so that you finally understand it. We can't be together."

"You're so, so...," I raged and pulled the duvet off the bed, in which I covered myself. I held her with one hand and collected my things around the apartment with the other. "I quit," I declared steadfastly.

"And with what?" he looked questioningly at me, still lying on the bed. "You can't end something that hasn't even started."

His stinging words hurt me and sucked all the air out of my lungs. Without a word and with my mouth open, I turned to him. The expression on his face did not change in any way. On the contrary, it gave more weight to his words.