white chrysanthemums , grief and mourning

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TW (not graphic) : underage drinking and mentions of self harm.

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It's been three weeks ever since he ran away and Wilbur never felt more alone. His twin left, leaving him all alone. Ever since that incident a few years back when Tommy was in primary school, their relationship has never been the same again. His little brother, only forty five minutes late, found him in his room who Wilbur thought was locked at that day with a bleeding wrist due to the bloody lines he drew with a razor blade because of the overwhelming feeling of doing it after a fight between him and his father.

He promised.

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"Don't tell anyone, Techno. Fucking promise to me"

"But Wil-"

"Blade, don't you dare tell Phil"

"Fine! I promise! Happy?"

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He fucking promised. Then, guess what? He snitched! He fucking snitched!

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"I'm sorry Wil but you need help"

"I TRUSTED YOU"

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He loathes him from that point on. He could've told anyone but dad then he did that. There's a reason why he hated dad from the beginning, after his mother died.

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"I can't have a son who's broken, Wilbur. So you better get over this phase of yours and actually start focusing on school. Your grades are slipping and your headmaster told me that you are involved in a fight between two parties. So whatever this is, get it right"

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Phil became controlling at that point. And his depression grew worse. It's all because of him. God, why can't everyone be happy? He blamed his twin for all the things he had to endure after the incident. He can't even look at his face after that.

He drank his second shot then poured down another one.

Yeah, his family is fucked up. Now that Techno left and Tommy ignored him, he's alone. It even seems like he's an only child at this point. Why did he even leave? Without telling him? He's his twin, believe it or not!

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"I'm sorry"

"I'll do anything for you to forgive me"

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If he really wants to earn his forgiveness then start by telling his plan on running away! Wilbur drinks his third shot, frustratingly. He's currently inside his locked room, drinking a bottle of scotch. He's not crying, already wasted all his tears three to two weeks ago. His room was dimly lit, all of his worn and new clothes scattered everywhere inside his room, the red curtains aren't tied (haven't been since the day he found out), making the room's tinted red. He's wearing his twin's oversized black hoodie that he found in his twin's room. It's one of the clothes that's left in his twin's walk in closet. The clothes that were left are only a small pile, most were either left with him for his journey to wherever that is or with Tommy, his baby brother. Wilbur knew that some clothes were with Tommy seeing as he saw him wearing it a couple times after Wilbur's little and Tommy's big brother left.

Wilbur pours another shot then drinks. Then another, then another.

When he read that note, the note that he found on his bedside table at one in the morning after hanging out with Ash and the others (not knowing that his twin brother, his brother that's with him ever since in the very beginning, left), he wasn't able to think nor process a single word in his mind.

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