Family: Out of Business

Refuted

After putting the groceries away, I sat down in the living room with a glass of cabernet. The wine quality and selection here is pathetic compared to Italy but it'll have to do. I can't go dry and tolerate the brat at the same time. One of us would surely not survive. There is a limit to my patience and benevolence, afterall. Thankfully for my irritating niece, alcohol pushes the boundaries of those limits a little bit further with each and every sip I take.

I'm doing the best I can to be a proper uncle and guardian to the little waif. I don't know why nobody can see that. I mean these are uncharted waters here. I still feel I'm too young to be saddled with all this responsibility. These are my prime sexcapade years, afterall. I shouldn't be wasting them shaping the young minds of tomorrow. I should be bedding every hot single or newly divorced woman I can get my hands on, in order to hone my skills. But am I doing that? No! I'm parenting a kid who isn't even mine, who doesn't even appreciate my efforts, and I haven't gotten laid in three days.

I swear someday the Pope will recognize my efforts as I'm canonized into sainthood. Until that day comes, I guess I'll just continue my thankless pristine efforts to raise Tony's little bastard into some semblance of an acceptable human lifeform. She really has no idea what I've sacrificed for her and she probably never will. Too bad she doesn't have any siblings who could sire annoying bratty kids then saddle her as their aunt with their care and upbringing so I could have some payback.

"Where did you go?" The whiny brat appeared out of nowhere, snapping me out of my self-reflective state as she angrily questioned me. She stood with her arms crossed, impatiently tapping her foot, apparently unaware of whom she's speaking to.

Alas, I digress. Exhibit A is clearly in desperate need of my correction so I shall carry on my altruistic humanitarian work for the greater good of mankind and civilization.

"I sent you to your room for a reason, piccola ragazza (little girl), and I do not recall giving you permission to leave it. Am I mistaken?" I set my wine glass down and stood to confront her, knowing this exchange with my niece was going to be nothing short of interminable.

"Just answer my question, Uncle EJ," she unwisely demanded. "And to answer yours, I don't need your permission to leave a room. You can't keep me prisoner here," she said, maintaining her snotty tone and aggressive stance.

"You already have a punishment coming for disobeying me, bambina (baby girl). Do you really want to add another one for disrespecting me?" I eyed my niece closely. My nostrils flared right along with my temper. She really should not be testing me right now.

"I can't set foot outside, even in our own backyard but you can just disappear without even letting me know you're leaving, or God forbid, telling me where you're going. That's not fair and you know it," she huffed indignantly. "I call bullshit."

"Watch your mouth," I cautioned. The brat had an indignant, yet somewhat frightened look on her face. Ah, now I understand where this little outburst is coming from. She's using anger to mask the fact she was worried I left her, abandoned her like her father. Unwise on her part but understandable. "Mia nipote, vieni qui e mettiti davanti a me adesso (My niece, come here and stand before me right now)!" I ordered sternly, snapping and pointing to the spot in front of me in lieu of a translation.

Seeing the look of determination etched upon my face and hearing the steely tone of my voice, the little snot wisely complied. Unfortunately for her, she maintained her defiant attitude as she stood in front of me.

"What?" she snapped.

Bending down to her level, I looked her in the eye and coldly replied, "While I most certainly do not need to inform you where I'm going or when, piccola ragazza (little girl), I can appreciate how lost you were without me so I apologize for leaving without telling you. I shouldn't have done that."

Apparently I stunned the simpleton into silence as voicing my repentance assisted in disarming some of her anger. She just looked at me with her mouth agape as if she really didn't know what to say.

When I raised one eyebrow, indicating I was waiting for a response, she finally sputtered her reply, "Uh, okay."

"I'm not going to leave you, Claire. I'm in this for the long haul." Gripping her jaw, I forced her to look at me. "You have my word, I will never abandon you. Capiscimi (Understand me)?"

Looking somewhat relieved, she nodded slightly.

"I want a verbal answer, signorina (young lady)."

"Si, Zio, yo capisco (Yes, Uncle, I understand)," she replied softly.

"Good. Now that's settled, let's get the unpleasant task of your punishment out of the way then maybe you can go for a swim tonight. Va bene (Okay)?"