Broken Records

6. The 95th floor

♛Ayanda King ♛

THERE was something so sacred about getting ready for an event with your friends. The chaos of makeup being spread on the dressing table, clothes pinpointed at every part of the room like landmarks and the smell of perfume and body spray clouding the air is just so indescribably perfect. The outfit changes and the mini fashion shows were the key thing to coming out with the perfect outfit.

It was about 6pm. Simone, China, Eden and I were getting ourselves ready for Will's big party tonight. We all decided to meet at my house for pre-drinks. The music was blaring in my room and giggles echoed while they screamed the lyrics to the song playing. Everyone was done with their outfits and was finishing off their makeup.

I was holding back tears in my closet with about 10 different outfits on the floor and my hair still in rushed twists. I was struggling to find an outfit that made me feel good and this was frustrating me more than my hair has ever. The girls kept trying to convince me that I looked good in anything I put on but my conscious was much louder and much more demanding. I felt awful in every single designer item I put on.

I picked up one of the sparkly halter tops I had put on earlier and stared at it for a while. Trying to figure out what I'd wear with it and what i would do to my hair. I immediately threw it back down and sunk into the coach, utterly defeated.

My closet door slid open and there stood a beautifully dressed Simone in an asparagus green bandeau and a matching mini skirt that was open fully on the side with silver chains on across that opening, a cloth cut out from the original outfit acting as a sleeve on her right arm with a simple silver chain with her name on it.

She was still wearing her slippers but her hair was silk pressed and curled and her face was made up with a simple but effective look. I envied her confidence and how beautiful the
outfit wrapped her figure. It made me want to drown even more but I couldn't help but smile softly.

"How's it going in here?" She asked while scanning the room that had half of my closet scattered in the floor. "Not great." I simply said, standing up.

"Where's everyone? It's quiet." I picked up another silk white dress but I decided against it because of how it dipped and revealed my cleavage.

"Down stairs, pouring out shots. I said we'd meet them down there." I nodded absently as I picked up a pair of leather pants but I decided against that too because I hated how my hips looked in them. I continued this pattern and scrutinized every inch of my body, Simone  watched me intently.

I groaned and cursed as I walked through the mountains of clothing towards my closet. I pushed through my clothes, hoping to find something I didn't feel disgusting in but guess what?

I couldn't.

I threw myself on the ottoman near by. Simone sat next to me and looked straight ahead but I knew all her attention was on me. "What's really going on?" She took ahold of my hand.

I didn't answer so she spoke up again, "It's what Daniella said...isn't it?" She was now facing me, her eyes boring into me.

For a long time, I've strived towards this image of perfection. I've always struggled with my body ever since my first modeling gig with a children's brand when I was 13. Back then, the clothes were made one way and I didn't fit into that way. I experienced all the other girls whispering and giggling as two ladies tried to zip up a dress, eventually breaking the zip off. I was embarrassed and I cried myself to sleep that night. That's when it all the started, the most darkest and hardest time of my life. I never went for a modeling gig for a while and I vowed to work out and get into shape as a way to revenge on those other girls and that stupid dress. Instead I slowly became a shell of the once smiling girl, impressed by anything pink.