Shitpost #3

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I'm redoing some oneshots right now so here, have a shitpost.


Tom: You wanna see how hardcore I am?

Tom: *punches wall*

Tom:

Tom: Take me to the hospital.

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Tord: My life isn't as glamorous as my wanted poster makes it look like.


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Tord: Tom! My face is on fire!

Tom: Tord! Are you okay?!

Tord: Oh yes, I'm fine. I just said that to make sure you'd come in here quickly.

Tom: But your face is  on fire.

Tord: Yes. It's much faster than shaving.

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Tord: What's up guys? I'm back.

Tom: What the- you can't be here. You're dead. I literally saw you die.

Tord: Death is a social construct.

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Tord: I know you're deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.

Tom: It's not a joke.

Tom: *Sniffles*

Tom: I'm a legit snack.

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Tom: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.

Matt: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!

Tord: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies' eyes!!!

Edd: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.

Tom: If you touch my birthday cake I'll make you eat your hands.

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Lmao I love the last one. I literally just pulled up and incorrect quote generator so if you've seen these before, that's why.

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⏰ Last updated: Jul 30, 2022 ⏰

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