#GirlsShitToo

Bad News, Followed by Goodbye

On Wednesday, Valerie was called into the office during Chemistry. When she came back, she was beaming, telling us, "I got it! I got the Hearst scholarship! They just came to the school to personally tell me and let me know how impressed they are by my hunger alleviation efforts! Such a sweet couple. I'm so happy!"

I hugged her and congratulated her, not revealing that by knowing her success, I also knew of my failure. I had no need to read the email that would be waiting in my inbox. I did have the need for a pick-me-up coffee and sugary pastry in the place of a balanced lunch.

As much as I tried not to feel the pain of rejection, the feeling was inescapable. That was why I hadn't asked Adree to the prom: because I was afraid of that feeling. I felt so glad she hadn't rejected me, and that things had worked out the way that they had. But this rejection put me down, and I wished I hadn't told my viewers to expect another vlog, because mopey me didn't want to turn into the Dallas Delaney that cared a lot about things.

* * *

Adree invited me to lunch that day, so I ditched my friends to go with her. She could tell something was up, so I showed her the unopened email on my phone, the one I knew was a rejection. She read it and confirmed, saying, "I'm sorry, Dal."

"It's fine. I'll pay for college somehow."

Adree's eyes filled with sympathy. "I'm in the same boat. The dance program at U of A is not cheap."

"University of Arizona?" I asked, realizing for the first time that we could be far apart next year.

"Yeah, they have one of the top programs in the U.S., and I got in!"

I smiled at her, but I felt sad knowing her and I would be apart if she decided to go there.

Maybe she could tell I was saddened by the prospect of a long-distance relationship, because she said, "I really don't know if I can go. I'd probably want to establish residency there first so I wouldn't be paying out-of-state tuition. But then I'd waste time not going to college." We sat in silence before she said, "Do you want to come to my dance recital next weekend? All of the seniors who are leaving for college get to perform their solos. Guess what wong my solo is to?"

"What?"

"No More Tears."

Ozzy? She always surprised me. My lips turned up into a smile. "Efff yeah, I'm coming!"

* * *

Friday, I was walking through the halls when I heard Valerie. "Dallas! Have you thought of a way to conclude your project?"

"Nope." Rejection still had me down, and I honestly had no idea how to conclude my project. 

She came closer, smiling at me and saying, "Well, you know my project is aimed at alleviating hunger in India. So I was originally going to do a GoFundMe focused on raising money for girls in India. Hunger in India is kind of a feminist issue, because girls suffer from hunger more than boys because of the views of girls and their worth. But stuff on hunger isn't all I found out when I was researching. Can you chat?" 

My look turned skeptical, as I didn't know what any of this had to do with Girls Shit Too. "Sure," I said, unsure. 

We went inside of Ms. Brooks's empty classroom, where we sat down to talk.

"So," Valerie began, "Something else I find out about India was that they have an open defecation problem."

"Yeah, I've heard. In some places, they shit out in the open because there are no toilets, right?"

"Right. But there is more to it than that. Something I think you can tie in to your project. So, what do you think; do you want to bring our projects together?"

I nodded fiercely. "Ms. Brooks will love another meaningful collaboration."

Girls Shit Too, Final Vlog

Published on May 29, 2015

Youtube Video Transcript:

Dallas: Hi al! Dallas here, along with my friend, Valerie.

So, I know a lot of my viewers have agreed that my movement has focused on a lot of "first world problems". Especially the premise of the project—the idea that girls shit. Complaining that we can't be as open about our shitting as men can sometimes be is complaining about a first world problem. A very minor first world problem. I won't deny it.

But this isn't only a problem in our developed country. This is a problem in developing places, as well.

Valerie: For example, in some parts of India, there are sanitation problems, including lack of toilets, forcing residents to go to the bathroom out in the open. The phenomenon has been called "open defecation." In addition to the health problems this creates, there are social issues, too. Boys or men can openly defecate and it's usually just fine. But when girls or women do it, they are subject to shame and harassment and worse. The girls in these places have been called "the prisoners of daylight," because they often won't dare to go until nighttime because of the shame and harassment they face. But during nighttime is when assaulters and rapists are out to take advantage of them, and assault and rape happens to so many of them when they're on their way to relieve themselves in the dark. Violence against women has been linked to open defecation in multiple countries in multiple scholarly studies.

Even though Dallas would advocate for gender-neutral bathrooms here in the U.S., the shame girls feel when they urinate or defecate or menstruate is so enormous that they will often skip out on school, because most schools don't have bathrooms exclusively for them. Research has shown that when there are gender-specific bathrooms at their schools, these girls' attendance rises. These girls desperately want, and need, privacy.

But women can be so oppressed in some of these places that they usually aren't part of the decision-making that goes into the planning of the construction of facilities. And so girls' needs are ignored.

Dallas: So this week, for Girls Shit Too, Valerie and I are unveiling a GoFundMe account, where the proceeds will go to efforts toward a group called 4TheGirls. 4TheGirls aims to help the women and girls around the world who are made vulnerable by problems related to issues like hunger and open defecation, and one of their more specific goals is to create bathrooms exclusively for girls in Indian schools.

Because all girls, everywhere, shit. In places like the U.S., we can fight for our right to have people acknowledge this—that we are real, shitting people, and not dolls. Elsewhere, we should fight for the right for girls to be given opportunities to shit without shame and without fear, and in sanitary conditions. 

*While this story is set in 2015, a 2021 report by the World Health Organization and Unicef shows that India has actually been responsible for the largest decrease in open defecation in comparison to other places, thanks in parts to sustainable development goals put forth by the United Nations. Open defecation happens in many places (US included).