#GirlsShitToo

"Is it okay to think we're different?"

After chemistry, I had calculus, but I stopped by Ms. Brooks's classroom on the way.

"Hi, Dallas!" she said when she saw me. "How are you?"

"Fine."

"Really?" she asked, probably in response to my lack of enthusiasm.

"It's just that... last night, I was complaining to my mom about some of the things Adree said in her vlog, but Mom said that it isn't just about the fact that girls can become things like engineers; it's about how they'll be accepted in those careers, and how they'll perform. She talked about how no one likes male pediatricians because they're not nurturing like they should be. Like pediatricians can't be masculine. But...I mean...I just learned that Valerie is going to be an aerospace engineer. If people complained about her because she brought some of her femininity to a so-called 'masculine' profession...well that would be totally sexist, right? My mom is sexist when she says that male pediatricians who maintain masculinity in their profession aren't good pediatricians, right?"

Ms. Brooks maintained a good composure, but I got the feeling that she might want to toe the line with her response. She said, "You're struggling with some difficult questions. I will tell you that while I don't agree with your mother about stereotyping all male pediatricians, I do agree with her when she says the struggle also involves how people are accepted in their careers. I hate to say it, but I fear Valerie will face a lot of sexism down the road. Her male colleagues will probably be able to get away with having unkempt hair, but she'll always have to look her best. She might be assigned administrative tasks just because she's a female, and her colleagues might not always acknowledge her contributions as worthy. She'll probably have to deal with inappropriate comments, and she might not have many, if any, female colleagues as mentors. She'll be accepted, but she'll be accepted as a woman. Her gender will likely shape her colleagues' perceptions and treatment of her before any other factor, and how she is treated might affect how she performs. And if she does perform like a 'woman,' then she may be criticized for it, like the male pediatrician who performs like a 'man' is criticized."

I didn't know what else to say, so I let out the big question. "Are we inherently different? Men and women? Is it okay to think we're different?"

"That's the question that you're trying to answer, Dallas. Have you come up with an answer yet?"

I shook my head.

"I have faith you will. In the meantime, I can give you some good books and blog recommendations."

I didn't have faith in myself, but I accepted her recommendations, thanked her, and walked to calculus.