#GirlsShitToo

Breastfeeding and #FreeTheNipple

Friday night, I lounged in my room trying to come up with a script for my next vlog. I could retract what I'd said about indecision, maybe, and talk about the problematic nature of what I'd said. Or, I could go with the topic I should have gone with the week before: the topic of bras being prisons for our boobs.

My ability to come up with anything of substance kept getting consistently interrupted by me imagining Adree's face on my computer screen saying, "You conflict me Dallas."

Confession: I might have actually rewatched that part of her vlog once or twice. Or maybe it was more times than that. I'd studied each element of her: her orange-tinted hair, her glowing brown eyes, her glossy lips.

My phone binged with a text; to my sweet surprise, Valerie's name displayed on my screen:

Valerie

Fri, Apr 8, 8:45 PM

Valerie

Go on Facebook, right now. I think I found a picture of your mom...

I went on my Facebook account, where Valerie had linked me to some guy's post. The post definitely donned a photo he'd taken of my mom from the week before when we'd gone out to dinner. The picture was of her breastfeeding, and the message—or rather, complaint—that accompanied it was not very nice. Not to mention: the photo and the man's complaint had gone viral. Mom would probably cry when she found out. Luckily, I had a plan and a platform for vengeance. Or something better than vengeance. 

Dallas Delaney @DallasDelaney

New video up, about breastfeeding in public and #FreeTheNipple

Breastfeeding and Free the Nipple

Published on April 10, 2015

Youtube Video Transcript:

Dallas here. Girls Shit Too.

Okay guys. I am legitimately pissed off today. When we went out for dinner last week, my little brother got hungry. So my mom fed him. He's never used a cover. He used to refuse, so now my mom just lets him feed without one. I know what you're thinking: he's just a baby. How could he refuse? I was an ongoing witness. He kicked, cried, and was evidently very uncomfortable and hot, and he wanted to look into our mom's face, because that's what babies need.

Well, everything seemed to be fine, and none of us realized some dude took a picture of my mom on his phone, but it happened. How did we find out? You might already know: the pic has gone viral. The guy posted the pic on his Facebook page along with his thoughts about why it was a disgusting sight. He was all, "My kids are here at this restaurant with me, and we are all trying to enjoy dinner, and we see this...Can't she use a cover or something? Or go to the bathroom or her car? Or not go out to dinner when she knows her kid is gonna get hungry?"

Well, I hope that guy's kids see tons of women breastfeeding. Because if they see women breastfeeding in public all the time, they'll grow up thinking that women breastfeeding their children is...wait for it...totally normal. And guess what? That's the way it should be. Because breastfeeding is natural, and normal, and why we view it as being abnormal doesn't make any sense.

You know what our society considers normal? Seeing pictures of women with tons of cleavage, with almost everything showing except the nipple. You probably don't mind when your kids are at the grocery store with you, and you are just trying to enjoy your grocery trip, and you see some hot actress on the cover of Vogue with her ta-tas out. You probably don't cover your kids' eyes or shame that actress on social media.

I want to use this time to say I'm totally on board with the #FreeTheNipple movement. If I were to walk around outside with my shirt off, I could be registered as a sex offender. If a mom in a restaurant is feeding her child, people get all offended and take pictures and complain. But if a dude shows his nipples, he's just being a natural dude. How does this make sense?

I wish I could walk around outside with my shirt off, but I haven't done that since I was a little girl, because back then I learned my undeveloped breasts were sexual things I should keep to myself. Then I got older and learned I should actually show some of my chest as a form of sexual expression, as a form of gaining some sort of cultural capital. You know, I should show everything... except my nipple. But only for sexual purposes. Because feeding children is apparently not okay. I just...ugh, I just wish that little girls weren't taught that their boobs are inherently sexual. Can we please change this? Can't kids learn that boobs are for feeding?

Stand with me in saying #BreastsAreForFeeding and #FreeTheNipple! Remember to use your hashtags, so that we can spread some sense across the web! Maybe one day soon all women will be able to go topless and then breastfeeding women will never have to endure this sort of crap.

And if any of you breastfeeding moms are feeling brave, share some photos of yourselves restaurant feeding, so that my mom doesn't feel so alone! I need something to cheer her up.