The Mercy of Birds

CHAPTER 16: YOUR SOUL TODAY

When they reached his silver Volvo, Cameron opened the passenger side for her before he took the driver's seat himself. He was setting aside the briefcase that he brought on the backseat, which contained all of Clementine's documents when he heard her say, "seatbelt."

He straightened and jerked his head towards her, finding her eyes down, yet she had all her attention towards him. She had fixed her own seatbelt without him even noticing.

He nodded as he pulled the safety strap across his body. "Seatbelt."

He couldn't help the smile that blossomed on his face.

+

"Christmas is coming and I think it's a great idea if we pick up a tree and some decorations, maybe fairy lights. What do you think?" he proposed over the bowl of chicken soup that he had cooked for the both of them. It was the first recipe he had ever learned and it was all in preparation for days like these where he imagined he would be reunited with her again, and if he could give his own testimony about his creation, he would say he was quite proud of himself for it.

They were seated next to each other at the dining table as evening fell and Cameron had finished taking her around the house for a tour. Now he studied her attentively as they ate, her face nearly slumped towards her bowl, inclining further every time she lifted her spoon to her mouth. It reminded him precisely of Nicholas, the way they hovered over their meal as though they were about to devour it in one swift, sucking motion.

Clementine swallowed a mouthful and looked up from her food, albeit she still wouldn't meet his eyes but she could see from her peripheral vision that he was staring at her. She fixed her own gaze at the typography emblazoned on his black sweatshirt instead, Soundgarden, it read. She wondered what it meant, maybe she should ask him, but it wasn't the topic of the conversation and she hated to appear offhand and apathetic. She glanced down at her own attire; she still wore his long-sleeved shirt that he had lent her at the hospital but with another one of his t-shirt underneath, yet neither of them seemed to have any text or picture inscribed onto it, but it was alright. It was the first time since forever that she had worn normal clothes, sane people's clothes, even more felicitous, it was her brother's clothes.

Christmas. Pine tree. Fairy lights.

"Yes, it will make for festive beauty. Very much so," she responded as she flicked her fingers against the wooden table and counted to eight. That was how many times she responded to him up until tonight. She aspired for more, but sometimes it was just hard to speak up her mind. Her thoughts were a hodgepodge of words and disintegrated sentences. Other people wouldn't understand her and would only assume that she had grown crazier than ever. She also feared that the voice that escaped might not be of her own, but that of the woman who had thrusted her all of the abominable conjecture and encouragement about harming her little brother.

"That's great. We can go out and shop tomorrow for some clothes and necessities. I would also like to introduce you to the nurse that would help you settle down. I promise she is nice."

She lifted her gaze to his lips and found that he was beaming at her. She wanted to return the tender sentiment but perhaps she had miscalculated the time it took for her to respond, so she missed the moment when he asked her again, "What do you think of the soup?"

She wished to tell him it didn't matter what it tasted like. She had sat at the dining table and watched him labor himself up on the stove and it was enough, yet again she couldn't express how she felt when a ringing sound pierced through the air and fractured the amity of the moment.

She didn't know who it was that called but when Cameron picked up the phone from his pocket and read the screen, his expression turned sour in a matter of a second. He returned his gaze to her and attempted to mask his perturbation with a smile, but it went to no avail.