ZARA

CHAPTER 54

Its now the middle of December. I have been in London for a little less than a month.

This last month Ive done alot. When i got the money from Steven and Brittany, aswell as my parents' house that they didnt actually ever sell, i didnt know what the heck to do with the money. I was really overwhelmed.

But I eventually decided that i wanted to keep our house. I dont want to live here, i want to go back to Sicily, but i want to keep my childhood home. I know it might be selfish and a waste but i can't bring myself to sell.

I gave 5 million pounds in charity. I dont need the money i have. If i even had a quarter of it, id be able to live off of it without having to work a day in my life.

And I dont think theres anything wrong with that. If you have it, theres no reason you shouldn't spend it. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone, or you have it at the expense of someone else.

I also got to read my dads Will. It was more like a letter to me. I cried when i read it.

I got alot of jewellery that belonged to my mom. The greedy people surprisingly didnt sell those either.

My mom had so much. So many diamonds. Im happy she lived a full life. It brings me peace to know they were happy while they lived.

And thats probably why I love buying expensive things so much. My mom had rich taste so do i.

I look around. Im currently packing. The floor looks really messy.

Today is the 17th of December. My birthday is in a few months actually. And we're very close to Christmas.

I talk to Mama and Ari and Alaia, almost everyday.

Mama said i have to come home for Christmas. And Ari's wedding is right after Christmas so i have to go.

Andrew and I have gotten closer again. Not romantically. We've always gotten along really well. We're similar people.

Anyways so, Andrew has a meeting on December 20th. He asked me to go as his consultant. I told him what my job was and that i missed working so he offered that i have one last hurrah. I agreed. It could be fun. He'd be coming back to London that same night.

I'll be looking for jobs after Christmas. Right now Tyler suggested i should take a break from working and enjoy the quote 'Rich Bitch life'. I thought that was funny.

Ive thought alot about Christiano. Problem is, im not the type to easily forgive and what he did, what he said, was something that really hurt me. Especially because there was no reason he would've been angry at me. I didn't do anything. He just got tired of waiting and thats not my fault so i refuse to have taken his bs.

He thought i would say, 'ok Christiano lets have sex without a commitment and you can sleep with whoever you want but i will sit next to you and not look at another guy'.

Unfortunately for him thats not how it works.

We're both very similar. We both have big enough ego's that its hard for us to talk about our emotions. And for me, i talk about my emotions to guys, i do. But only with the ones who say they want me.

He has not once said he likes me, or that he wants to be with me. The only remotely close thing to that he has said is, 'youre mine to compliment' or 'dont flirt with other guys'.

Not even a simple 'youre mine'. Because that speaks volumes. But he didnt so i wont be explaining my emotions to him when he clearly isnt interested.

Anyways, I know it'll be awkward when his family tries to include me in things. But im good at ignoring people so ill be fine.