Missing

Sleep

I didn't even get to find out if I was having a boy or a girl. I was only 17 weeks along. I just wish I knew if I was having- going to have- a boy or a girl.

I just want something to put on the grave.

It's not an actual grave. Gavin won't allow that, but I'm painting a rock and going to put it in the garden.

I dreamed of teaching my child to garden. That's all gone now, I suppose.

My husband is a monster and I can't believe I was blind to that before.

It's getting late, I need to make dinner.

The rock is finished so I set it in the garden surrounded by flowers and walk inside to start dinner.

In the middle of making it my husbands hands snake around my waist and kisses my cheek.

"Smells good, my love." "I'm making your favorite. Aren't you excited?" He laughs into my ear. "Of course I am."

He turns me around so I'm facing him. "I know you're still upset about our baby. I'm sorry you lost it." I nod.

"I know. Can you forgive me?" "Always." He kisses me and then leaves me to Finnish dinner.

My hand goes to my stomach and I can still feel the emptiness of my womb as tears fall down my face.

I jump awake, my hair damp with sweat and it's hard to breathe. My grey tank top isn't think enough to make me any less burning hot.

"Hey, what's wrong? What happened?" I completely forgot Leo was laying in my bed with me.

We had an interesting night.

He hugs me and I can feel his muscles through his shirt. "Bad dream?" I shake my head. "Bad memory."

He kisses my forehead and lays his head against the top of mine. "I'm sorry." "Me too."

After a moment of silence Leo says "do you wanna talk about it?" I quickly shake my head.

He sighs and I feel him shake his head against mine. "You've been here 10 months, Liv, and you still haven't opened up about what's got you so scared.

I won't push you to tell me but you can if you want to, okay? You can always talk to me no matter what. I won't judge you or think any less of you."

I drop my head but when I pick it back up he lays his head on mine again.

"Thank you, Lee. I know we've only been together for 6 months, but I have something to tell you." He kisses my head and I smile.

"I-I love you, Leo." His head pops up and he's looking into my eyes.

His green eyes are lit up and he has on a huge smile. I laugh at how he looks with his hair a mess and all he does is grab my face and kiss me.

"I love you too." He breathes against my mouth. With that we kiss more until we fall back into the mattress.
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"Come on, I wanna go shopping. Please?" I beg Ian and my brother.

I just wanna go shopping but I'm still technically a prisoner. "Guys, you know me. Am I gonna be your prisoner forever?"

All three of them sigh at once and my brother says "I really wish you wouldn't see it that way."

I scoff. "That's what it is. You kidnapped me, gave me a bodyguard after you chased me through the woods because I tried to leave, won't let me leave, and have all of your men on lookout of the doors and windows at all times so I can't get out.