Lost Girl | 2 ✔

LVII

My mind was in turmoil,

my emotions were haywire,

and pain was gnawing at my heart.

I stood up

and took a step away from her.

It's not wrong.

This isn't wrong.

Virginia let out a bitter chuckle.

Who engraved that lie into your head?

My ears were ringing as her words pounded in my head.

If this is so wrong to you,

then why did you sleep with me?

It was quiet as Virginia ran a hand through her hair.

It's complicated, Sarah.

Complicated how?

I snapped.

My sorrow quickly dispersed

as anger came tumbling down on me.

You can't use me like that.

My loudness was steadily increasing

as my body shook in fury.

You can't expect to just use my body

and tear apart my heart

before dumping it like I'm trash!

I snatched up the book laying on my dresser

and threw it at my closet as I screamed in frustration.

The violent sound made Virginia flinch

as my body shook in rage.

Do you know how much it hurt seeing you with him?

How hard it's been to face this alone

and to have my parents look at me with so much disappointment?

Anger rising from my attack,

Virginia stood up before yelling back,

Yes, I do!

You're not the only one who had to go through that!

I had to tell my parents

about the shame I am to our family!

I stayed up all night in fear

thinking that they would disown me

for being this disgusting thing tainting their name!

She sucked in a loud breath of air before continuing.

No one will ever accept me for this.

No one will ever accept what we are.

Can't you get that into your head?

Hearing her painful words,

my anger simmered down.

The silence was deafening as I stood there watching

the blotches of red painting her face.

Then why did you do it?

I whispered.

Why'd you have have sex with me

if what we are is such a disgrace?

She forced her eyes shut

before placing her hand on her forehead.

Because I'm confused, too.

She said in exasperation.

I wanted to feel something for once in my life

and being with you allowed me to do that.

She dropped her hand from her head

and advanced towards me.

Please, understand.

My mind was racing.

And I tried to stop myself,

but it was already out before I could register

what I was saying.

Do you even love him?

I asked softly

and the look in her eye already told me her answer.

No.

she whispered.

But maybe one day, I will.

I grabbed her hands in desperation.

If you don't love him,

then be with me, Virginia.

Everything else doesn't matter.

We can figure this out.

Please.

My throat was raw and my eyes were burning.

I'm so tired of always crying.

I'm tired of always feeling so much pain.

Leave him.

Don't let them change who you are.

A dark laugh left her lips

as she brushed away the tears in her eyes.

Can't you see.

Her voice was raspy.

They already have.

Shaking her head,

she took a step back from me.

I can't do this, Sarah.

I've worked so hard trying to hide what I feel

and I'm not going to let you ruin it.

You can't just come here

and think that I'll drop all that I've worked for.

For what?

Her voice was a harsh quiet.

I don't even know what we are.

I don't know what we could be

and I'm sorry,

but I don't want to find out.

She buried her fingers in her hair

as she let out another sinister chuckle.

They'll never accept us.

Her eyes locked with mine at her final words.

So stop living in your fantasies

and start living in the real world.

I promise you.

It'll hurt a lot less later on.

Giving me one last heartbreaking look,

she grabbed her bag and left my room.

My heart sank to my feet as I watched her leave.

My lungs were so tight,

that it didn't matter how hard I tried gasping for air.

I winced at the sharp sound of her slamming the front door.

The noise now echoing in my head,

I sank to the floor

before closing my eyes

and burying my head in my arms.

That was the last time I saw Virginia.

~Sarah