The Proximation of Hello and Goodbye

14

"And what is this , exactly?" Izuku remains silent. He knows full-well what this is. It's the beginning of another argument, he just doesn't want to admit it, not out loud at least. "What? Is talking to me unbearable or something?"

Izuku sits up, swinging his feet over the bed. "I don't want to argue tonight, please."

"Well, evidently, you did. Otherwise, you wouldn't have brought it up," Masashi sneers.

He shakes his head, standing to his feet and grabbing his pillow. "No, I didn't want to argue. I just wanted to talk to you and let you know that things have been hard lately. That's it. I just wanted to have a moment where I could be vulnerable with you." He starts to walk away and Masashi lunges across the bed, grasping tightly onto Izuku's wrist. That touch, it's not gentle, it's not soft. It's not a loving touch, it's the touch of a man who wants his way. His skin crawls as the realization settles. I don't like it . He snatches his hand away, leaving his boyfriend stunned. "I'm going to sleep in the guest room."

"Like hell you are!" Masashi snaps. "You wanted to talk, didn't you?"

Tears spring to Izuku's eyes, his lip quivering. "Not like this. I told you what I wanted, but it seems I won't be getting that. Why is it so hard to have a level-headed conversation? I don't get it."

"You don't get it?" Masashi asks. "Of course, you don't. There's no way you'd ever admit that it's your fault. You lay here all day, doing nothing, while I go to work and bust my ass to provide and make time for you. Yet, I come home to you laid in bed, ready to start an argument."

"That wasn't my intent," Izuku squirms.

"You and your stupid accusations, making me look like the bad guy for doing the best I can. What is it? Do you not like having a place to live or clothes on your back? Would you like our fridge to be empty or for our bills to be unpaid? What are you contributing to all of this? Huh? Do you really think that your little side gig at that fucking cafe could do anything close to what I do?" he fumes. Izuku can't bring himself to look up at him, he knows what he'll be met with. The thought of Masashi's enraged eyes sends a frightening chill down his spine. His body tremors with unease as Masashi continues. "I give and I give and I give, and you have the audacity to say you don't feel important? It's bullshit, Izuku, and you know it."

Izuku's body feels drained, completely lacking the ability to move. His hands hang limply at his sides. His stomach feels uneasy, bile threatening to rise into his throat. "I just want things to be like they used to be," he cries. "I miss you. I miss when we could talk and laugh and enjoy our time with each other. I just want things to be okay again."

"So you don't enjoy your time with me?" he snaps.

"That's not what I'm saying," he whimpers. "You're not listening to me."

Masashi stomps across the room, his body flush against Izuku's. He leans down, his face only centimeters from Izuku's. "I am listening to you," he says, his hand clutching onto Izuku's chin. " You're the one not listening."

Izuku finds it difficult to speak with Masashi's fingers digging into his cheeks with nearly enough force to separate his teeth from each other. His chest feels tight. Air escapes his lungs no matter how many times he manages to breathe in. "Masashi, you're scaring me," he sobs. "Please let go." His hands try to pull Masashi's hands away from his face only to fail. "Please," he begs.

"I am so sick and tired of this shit," Masashi growls. "Always so helpless, nothing's ever your fault is it?"

He tries to breathe, but nothing that comes in seems to be working. "I can't breathe," he chokes.

Masashi lets go of him, Izuku falling to his knees in an instant. Masashi turns his back and walks away, back to the bed. "I can't stand when you get like this. Go to the guest room, go wherever you want, I don't give a damn. If being with me is so hard for you, be my guest and leave. Sorry for being so fucking terrible. I'm sorry that I've become someone you can't stand."

"No," Izuku sobs. "I don't think you're terrible. I just think you're stressed. I'm worried about you. I love you."

He gets into bed and covers himself, "Whatever. Just go. I don't want to be near you right now."

A freeze settles over Izuku. I didn't want it to be like this. I just wanted to have some time with you. I just want to be near you, to love you and be loved by you. I want you back. Tears fall onto his cheeks as he pulls himself to his feet. He hesitantly makes his way across the room and grabs his phone before slipping into a shirt and some jeans. He walks out of the room and out of the front of the house before calling Ena. The phone rings for a little while before Ena answers the phone. "Hey! What's going on?"

His voice cracks in an instant, "Ena. I--"

"Oh my God. What happened?" she asks, instantly picking up on the distress in Izuku's voice. "Are you okay?"

All of the raw emotion that Izuku has been holding back comes to the surface in an instant, "Masashi and I... we got into a fight and—" His words fall short as he thinks about what occurred. He can still feel Masashi's fingers digging into his cheeks, the uncomfortable grasp on his arm. "I made him mad, and he.."

"Where are you now?" She asks.

"I'm on my way to your apartment," he manages to choke out between sobs. "I don't want to be at home."

She remains silent for a moment. "Listen to me, Izu. I'm not home, my mom came and got me for the weekend. Do you remember where I keep my spare?"

"Yes."

"Okay, the whole place is yours. Just make sure to put the key back and lock the door. I'll call Suki and see if she can head over, okay?"

Some part of him wants to reject the company, to say he wants to be alone. If Ena can't be there, he'd rather just be alone. Regardless, he knows Ena won't want him to be alone. "Okay," he answers.

"Okay. I'll give her a call in a second, but you text me the second you get inside and you better call if he shows up. Got it?" She urges.

"Yeah," he answers. "I got it."

"How far are you from my place?" she asks uneasily.

He looks up and frowns, "I can see the building now."

"Okay. I'm gonna call Suki now. If I don't hear from you in the next three minutes, I swear I will have that bastard's head on a silver platter," she says.

"Yeah, okay," he answers, pulling the phone from his ear. He numbly walks the rest of the way to Ena's apartment, making it to her door. He pulls out the spare key from behind the sign she has hanging beside her door and unlocks the door. He places the key back where it belongs before walking in and shutting the door behind him. He locks the door with care and begins to text Ena on his way back to her room. He hits send as soon as his body falls onto her bed, finally spent from his night. He covers himself with Ena's favorite blanket and allows himself to break under the weight of what happened.

I just want to be comfortable with him. I just want to be comfortable with him. I just want to be comfortable with him.