The Proximation of Hello and Goodbye

14

It should come as no surprise. Lying had become like second nature to Masashi. I'll be home in a few hours. I'll be there to pick you up when you get off. I'll make sure to give you my very best. I love you. Izuku shakes his head, trying to clear those thoughts from his mind. He does love me. He loves me. He's just busy. He's distracted and tired. It'll be okay. He loves me.

He repeats the words to himself over and over again until he can almost believe them the way he used to. His eyes close, Izuku allowing himself to actually rest for the first time since he'd woken up. Slowly, he starts to shrug all of his thoughts and worries away, they'll be there tomorrow too after all. Just as he begins to relax, he hears the door downstairs open. Oh, so he finally decided to make it home. He huffs and pulls the covers over his head, not wanting to see Masashi for the rest of the night.

Eventually, the door to the bedroom creaks open and Masashi moves around quietly, trying to get ready for bed. Izuku tries to fall asleep before he gets to bed, but he can't help but listen as Masashi storms around the room. It was another bad day, he observes. The realization keeps him aware enough to notice when the bed dips under Masashi's weight as he gets into bed beside Izuku. He tries to cuddle up next to him, but Izuku inches his body away. He doesn't want to be near him right now. Not when all he'd wanted this morning was to be with Masashi, and it hadn't been enough to make him stay.

"Izuku? What's wrong?" Masashi asks, his voice is soft. Izuku squeezes his eyes shut tighter, pulling his arms closer to his own chest. "Come on, I know you're awake. What's got you so upset?"

"It doesn't matter," Izuku pouts. "Just leave me alone."

Masashi moves closer to Izuku, wrapping his arm over him. He nuzzles his face into the crook of his neck, "It does matter. What's on your mind?"

Izuku turns onto his side so that he's facing Masashi, keeping his hands to himself. He feels like he shouldn't ask as it'd just make his life easier if he kept festering over it, but it's been bothering him all day. "Did you really have to go back to work today?"

Masashi frowns, "Yeah. I had a lot of catching up to do, but I'm all caught up. That means we have all day together tomorrow."

"Do you mean it or is something else going to come up?" He asks softly.

"You know I can't say for sure," he answers. "But I'll do my best."

"Yeah. Okay," he huffs.

Masashi props himself onto his elbow, his head resting in the palm of his hand. "Izuku, is my job a problem for you?"

Izuku's heart seems to stop. Masashi's tone still sounds gentle, but something about it still feels off. He feels hesitant to answer honestly, "I guess sometimes it is."

"Why is that?"

"It just feels like you're always busy these days and like you're in a bad mood. I just... I don't know. I guess I don't feel like I'm important to you anymore. I've missed you for a very long time, and not just for the month you were gone." His voice is quiet, almost scared to be heard. His hands start to fidget with one another as Masashi sits up.

He laughs, the sound harsh and void of the typical joy associated with laughter. Izuku breathes deeply, trying to prepare for what follows. He knew it was a slippery slope, but he'd hoped it would be different this time, that he'd understand... like he used to. "You don't feel important," his boyfriend echoes. "Damn it."

"I'm sorry," he tries, a vain attempt at diffusing Masashi's impending anger. He stretches a hand out for the first time, trying to place it over Masashi's only for it to be snatched away. "It's just that we never really spend time together anymore or even talk. And if we do, it's always like this."