𝙍𝙀𝘿 // 𝘽𝙄𝙇𝙇𝙄𝙀 𝙀𝙄𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙃 𝙁𝘼𝙉𝙁𝙄𝘾𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉

miami show

"okay." she nodded, her eyes were glassy so she got a tissue to soke them up before they ruined her makeup after hissing a "fuck, sorry". "i don't know what the fuck i did to deserve you." she shook her head, i gently grabbed her chin so she could face me and i kissed her.

"you don't have to apologize for every little thing, it's okay." i kissed her forehead, but i left a lipstick stain on there. i let out a giggle, billie looked at herself in the mirror and smiled. i wiped it with my thumb and said "some extra blush"

"billie! blue! are you awake? come on! wake up! you gotta pack now!" matt knocked on the door loudly.

"relax, we're packing!" i yelled.

"pack quick then, we are leaving in twenty!" he let us know.

"that's plenty of time matt, relax!" billie yelled, but matt had already moved on the the next door. "i swear one of these days he's going to bang on a complete stranger's door and yell at them, then realize it later." she shook her head while gathering her makeup into her bag.

i just want to say i love you. why does it have to be so hard saying such a beautiful and meaningful word? just saying those words makes me think that she'll believe me, believe that i'm not going anywhere, that i'm here for the long run, that i'm here for her and not any other benefit that comes with her.

but by saying those words may freak her out and think it's too soon and i don't want those three words, eight letters to mess things up for us, because they are supposed to do the absolute opposite of that. i just came to the realization that i love her less than 24 hours ago and i can hide it, it's basically choking me.

it's like everytime she does something cute i just want to yell i love you and smother her with kisses which is 90% of the time. i know i should be careful so i don't hurt myself again like the way i hurt when i left my last relationship, but this is different, i know it is.
-

we arrived at the venue and we had to hurry and sort the stage out and make sure nothing has changed over night because the security were letting the vips in since billie finished her meet and greets just minutes ago.

i was there for the first half of it, just staring through the sidelines. i had this stupid smile on my face, looking at her meet her supporters and she was so sweet with every single one of them. i wish i could've stayed the whole way through but i had to work too. billie might not fire me, but matt easily could kick me out of tour and i wouldn't blame him if i wasn't doing my work.

"hi! did you have fun?" my face lit up and i hugged billie as soon as i spotted her in the hallway on my way to the green room.

"yes! the adrenaline is slowly getting higher and higher throughout the day, i'm going to feel so weird at the end of the show." she replied, as we both continued our way to the green room.

"do you think sully can take me to the pit? i wanna scream and jump and dance. i have way too much energy today, i gotta drain that shit out or i'll just go crazy." ivy said while we were just chilling on our phones on the couch in the green room.

billie went and fetched sully and asked if it was possible and most importantly safe. ivy ended up in the pit and she started spamming the girls group chat with videos of her hyping up the people around her. about thirty minutes later it was show time.

billie was supposed to shoot up through this really cool compartment from underneath the stage. that would be andrew and i's call to run to our station. there wasn't any music for a whole minute, just the crowd roaring. but then bad guy needed to be performed and a "bad guy start." was heard in my ear piece.

i've obviously never been at this side of the venue, i've always been in the pit screaming till my voice was literally gone. it's crazy from up here, and i mean it, it's almost magical. just watching every single sole in this crowd of people sing to a song that my girlfriend made is surreal. i know that i wasn't here from the beginning, when she wrote most of these songs in her brother's room after yelling for a burrito and finneas for a grilled cheese. but i'm so so so proud of her.

"how you doing miami?" billie yelled to her microphone and loud roars were immediately heard. billie waited till it calmed down a bit, then started talked again, "okay i need you to make some noise for my drummer, andrew!" she yelled, the roars were back and billie waited it calmed down to talk again, "alright, you may have been wondering for the past five minutes... where is finneas?" a couple people yelled "yeah!"

"alright well, he is not going to be present on this tour." she announced. "we have blue here taking his place!" she pointed at me, the crowd roared for me and i had no idea what to do to i just smiled and waved. "she is actually the newest member to our tour crew, she is insanely talented, which means finneas low-key has some competition but he's sensitive and won't admit that. to the people that are gonna do those "it's not the same ass it was" edits i say get over it, he isn't on tour with me too and he's my brother. anyways... umm yeah." she smiled my way.

"give her a warm welcome." and the crowd started cheering very very loudly.

"i need you to make some noise one last time for everyone working behind the scenes to make all this possible. matt my manager! laura! mama for making this as green as possible!" she yelled one last time and the crowd roared once again.

"alright, this is wish you were gay."