PUPPY LOVE | Chifuyu Matsuno

11

"Stop following me." I grunted as I turned around to face Kazutora who was following me since I stepped out of my apartment building.

"No. I promised Keisuke to keep you company while he's gone." He says, looking around the place. The thought of what happened yesterday was made me feel sick. I stopped walking and stared at the grocery store in front of us. "Oh, the owner must have a loan." He says after seeing that the store was open.

"Do you even know the owner?" I asked and watched as he opened up the glass door.

"Yeah, it's my Dad's." Oh, is that the reason why he knows they closed last time? "We're not in a good relationship." He opened up to me as if he didn't say how much he hates me. Why? Why are you doing this?

"Is he bad?" I asked quietly and followed him inside the shop. He nodded and grabbed a one cart from the corner. He stayed silent after that.

There is not much for me to buy. My mom just asked me to buy tissues, soaps, shampoos and other essentials. Kazutora looks at me weirdly when he saw me grab a lavender scented shower gel.

"Hey!" I flushed when he suddenly held my left arm and smelled my wrist.

"Lavender." He mumbles.

"Shut up. You're a flirt." I pulled my arm away from him before tossing the shower gel in the cart.

"Only to you, babe." He laughed teasingly. He's a huge flirt!

I walked over to where the shampoos are and he followed me, pushing the cart lazily. He just followed me everywhere and even insisted that he will carry the plastic bags. I just let him because it's so tiring to fight with him.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked as we waited for the elevator to open.

"Shoot." He says, pulling out his phone. "Say 'cheese'." Mirror shot? I rolled my eyes before kicking his leg, making him let out a grunt.

"Are you not feeling guilty of what you did to Baji-san?" I asked. He licked his lower lip before nodding.

"I was ready to die too." He chuckles as if what he said is something funny.
"He's willing to die for you, Chifuyu." He says and I completely disagree with that.

"No..." I stopped walking and stared at the orange hues of the sky. "He's dying for you. He's ready to leave me behind just for you. You mattered to Baji-san the most." I said and looked behind me to smile at him. He didn't return it and just stared at me, amazed.

"And you know..." I shove both of my hands inside my pocket. "I don't hate you." His eyes widened, it was eyes welled up with tears. "I will never hate someone who matters to Baji-san the most even if you did something awful. You're his true friend, Kazutora. And I'm not planning to ruin what you two have. I..." I paused and exhaled shakily. "I'm giving up on Baji-san..."

Even though my heart and soul shattered into pieces, I meant what I said. I want nothing but the best for us, I really do.

"Don't." Kazutora invaded my personal space and dropped the plastic bags on the ground. "Wait for Keisuke. Let's fight for this, please." I  shut my eyes so I couldn't see how he stares at me. I don't want to think about it. "It's not like that. I mean...yes, I love Keisuke but listen..." I pushed him away as soon as he said those four words.

"I don't stand a chance clearly. Baji-san feels the same way." I whispered under my breath.

"No! Listen to me!"

"No, you shut the fuck up!" I yelled and swatted his hand away when he tried to touch me.

"God, you're so stubborn! Keisuke doesn't feel that way!" He yelled back.

"Yes, he does. I heard it with my own ears." I mumbled, blinking the tears away.

It was supposed to be our first night together. It was before everything falls apart. He invited me to sleep over and I immediately agreed because I cannot say no to Baji-san.

But, I didn't expect to turn intimate between us.

He was kissing me. Baji-san is kissing me desperately, sucking on my lower lip and occasionally biting. I don't know what to do because it was my first kiss.

He's taking my breath away. He's making me feel like I was floating. He was reminding me what butterflies feels like. Like a fire within my bones. Like my soul has turned to the water. Like every part of me that came from a dead star is alive again.

"Tora, I love you."

He pulled away and just like that, he managed to write that sentence in my mind. He managed to ruin a fairytale scene for me. He managed to break my heart in just seconds after he kissed me.

There were miracles in his kisses but it was a pain in my veins.

"I'm sorry, Fuyu." I kept it a secret. It was a scene that wasn't supposed to be shared with anyone. We keep it too each other and return to reality. Because there was never been a happy ever after between us.

The stars are smiling that night and my heart is bleeding.

"I'm sorry, Chifuyu." He didn't sound sorry. He sounds like he's trying to make me understand where I really stand.

"Don't be." I wiped my tears away and gathered the two plastic bags on the floor. "I'm leaving him for you, Kazutora. Take care of him, please." He stood there as I walk pass him and walk away.

First loves should be a love that we could keep. Because it's pure and innocent. So fragile that we break when our first love can't reciprocate oir feelings, whether it because they love someone else, or they just don't like us.

We think that maybe they are our soul mate but just met at the wrong time.

Loving at a young age is beautiful. It was like you were living in a fairytale and hoping you can have your happy ever after too.

"I think I fought enough. " I smiled even if I can see my tears drop down on the path I'm walking. "Don't worry, Chifuyu. You'll get there."

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