PUPPY LOVE | Chifuyu Matsuno

06

"Baji-san! What are you doing?!" I slammed his door open as soon as I got home from a Toman meeting.

"It's my decision, Chifuyu!" He yelled while pulling out his Toman jacket. My lips quiver upon recalling what happened earlier.

"Tell me you're joking." I sighed and narrowed my eyes at him. He stared back and I noticed his cold eyes. Since when....

"I'm not. I'm leaving Toman. End of discussion." He says and aggressively slammed the Toman jacket on the floor. "You won't do anything, Chifuyu. Just respect my decision."

I can't let it happen.

"How dare you!" I yelled while holding my shredded manga book. Baji-san came to my apartment to give me a basket of vegetables and he said it's from his mom. I was thankful mom is not here to witness our argument.

"Dude, it's not my fault!" Baji-san raises both of his hands, backing away from me.

"But...but!" I gripped the shredded book and blinked my tears away. I didn't even finish this!

"Fuyu, I just got here." Baji-san says, rolling his eyes. I know that. I know very well that it was Peke J who did it. I'm just frustrated. I'm just frustrated because of what Baji-san had said to me.

"I'm leaving Toman." Those words rang inside my head again and again. Why? How? He was the one who made me enter Toman. He was the one who gave me a reason to fight for Toman.

"Fuyu, listen. If this is about-"

"Why?" I looked down at the floor of my room. My tears were making my vision blurry. "You were the one who encouraged me to enter Toman and now...you're leaving me behind?" I cried, my shoulders were shaking. I couldn't accept it. He's leaving me behind.

"There are lots of nice people in Toman, Chifuyu. They're better than me..."

"Don't say that! Don't fucking say that!" I glanced up at him and his lips parted upon seeing my messed up face. "You don't know...I admired you for so long, Baji-san. Don't ever...say that." I threw the shredded book at him and he didn't dodge it. Instead, he just watched me cry in front of him with a cold expression.

Where did I go wrong, Baji-san? What happened? How could you say that when you know how much I treasure you as my friend. You are better than them, millions much better than them.

"Why am I losing you now, Baji-san?!" I yelled and stepping forward to throw a punch at him because I was angry, agitated...

I didn't notice when he had changed. I didn't notice anything aside from the stares he's giving me these past few months. Since we encountered Hanma, everything falls apart. Since they told me that Kazutora is out, I lose my only love, my friend, my captain.

"I'm joining Valhalla." He said with his chin up. He grip my fist so tight, I think he's holding back. I couldn't see any emotions. I couldn't see any trace of my Baji-san. He's a different person now in front of me. And I hate it.

And everything aches. Because...

"Kazutora is in Valhalla." Draken says staring at the empty glass on the table.
He visited me after Baji-san left Toman. I can't look at him, I don't want to see another pity look, just like what everyone else gave me.

"Ah, he still chooses him." I chuckled.

"Of course, they're each other's one and only." Fuck. Sometimes, I hate how blunt Draken is.

"And how about me?" My voice broke.
Everything happened so fast that I couldn't grasp anything that was happening around me.

"I'm sorry." Draken says in a more gentler way.

"I want him back." I gripped the hem of my hoodie and glanced up at Draken with determination.

He expected it that's why he sighed and shake his head. "I know Baji-san. He won't do it if he has no reason." Something is bothering Baji-san ever since the fight with Hanma, ever since Draken got stab. Some thing is up and he didn't tell us.

"I will bring him back."

Draken just nodded, but I can see his hesitation.

At the same day Draken came, I went to Baji-san's apartment. But his mom told me that he was out. So, I went back to my apartment and think of a way to bring Baji-san back again even if Hakkai said it's impossible.

The next day, I cornered Baji-san while he's walking towards his bike. He glared at me for blocking his way but he didn't do anything to harm me. He just stared at me for so long until I speak.

"Baji-san...if you have something-"

"Quit it, Chifuyu." He cut me off so quick. How can he do that?

I swallowed the thick lump in my throat and smiled. The smile that was only reserved for him. "Keisuke!" His name rings different in my ears every time I say it. Just how he likes it.

I saw how shock he was that he froze. "I just wanted to give you a p-proper good bye. Um, a more peaceful good bye?" I laughed awkwardly and covers my face using my hands because my tears were already rolling down on my cheeks as soon as I said his name.

"Fuyu..." I bit my lower lip. That tone of his is making me fall apart and feel a thousands of butterflies at the same time. "Why are you doing this?" He asked, he sounds so weak now. He sounds like he's having a hard time. Because he was.

"I...I can't lose you, Baji-san. I can't, I can't let you go..." I paused before sitting down on the ground because my knees weakened. "I didn't even tell you how much I..." I couldn't say it. I wouldn't dare to say it in this situation. It's not romantic enough. It's not like how things are when I read my books. It's not like how confession are when I watch dramas and imagine. It's not like how I dreamed of.

But, I want to make it work. I want to let Baji-san know that I can fight for him. I will let him know that I will do anything for him.

Because I love him, more than friends. More than every manga books I have. A little bit less than Peke J.

"Finish it." He demanded and walked closer to me. "Fucking finish it, Fuyu. If we're thinking the same...fuck, I'll fucking stay!" He says, holding onto my shoulders. And his strength came back. His eyes were piercing through my soul.

"Baji-san...I-" I was about to say it when someone called him.

"Baji?" We both turned around and saw him. His black and yellow hair was dancing on the air. His earring jingles and his eyes...his eyes stare directly on me.

"Tora."

It's him. It's Kazutora.

And just like how I didn't notice how Baji-san changed, I couldn't feel his hold on me anymore as soon as Kazutora came to the story.

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