365 Days

224

I don't want to think about Alex, or anything to do with him and me and us. Considering I'm meant to be making him not like me, I can't afford to think of what it would be like if not only I liked him, but if we were to date. I wince, because I can picture it all too well.

So I stand up and drag Temma to the dance floor, where we dance to Shout. The family comes and goes, joining us in bopping along to the upbeat music. Eventually Levi joins us but Alex lurks to the side of the dance floor. I semi-strut over to him, holding my hand out for him to take. "Come on. Dance with me."

He bites his lip and puts his hands in the pockets of his slacks. "No, I'm alright."

I put my hand on my hip and raise my eyebrows, raising my voice over the music which just got louder. "Why not? Scared?"

"I'm not scared. I'd love to but..." He trails off, looking down.

"But what?" I ask, taking a step towards him and almost falling over. Damn heels.

"Uh," he mumbles, kicking the ground with his shoe. "I, um. I can't, uh, really dance."

What?

He can't dance?

Oh my God.

Don't laugh, Dakota. Don't laugh. Keep it in. Breathe in, breathe out.

"Huh," is all I manage, biting my lip to suppress any emotion.

Alex Stanton can't dance.

Breathe.

"I know. It's stupid. I'm eighteen, I should know how to dance." The music slows right down and I smile, tugging at his hand. "Come on, I'll teach you."

He takes his hand out of my grasp, the heat disappearing from my hand. "No. Not in front of people."

"Okay," I tell him. I lead him out from under the large marquees and along a cute little stone path. The pebbles are black beneath our feet and there are hedges running away from the path. It is starting to mist with rain and the air mixes with the rich, earth smell that accompanies it.

There is this tree behind the hedge where the music is still audible, but only just. I take his hand and lift his chin so that he's looking at me. I put one hand on his shoulder and take his hand with my other. He hesitates, tugging at his lip before putting his hand just above my hip.

"A bit further up," I instruct, sliding it up with my own hand so that it is in the correct position. I can feel the warmth of his fingers melting through the material of the dress and I take a breath, trying not to react.

Stay calm, is my constant reminder as I instruct Alex how to dance. Remember, he has to not like you. It won't be fair on him to get any deeper into this than he already is.

"What are you thinking?" He asks, his voice concentrating. He's getting the hang of it now, but still has to work hard not to step on my feet. I find it cute that Alex can't dance, considering he is brilliant at pretty much everything.

I wasn't going to tell the truth but I figure, why not? This may even give me ideas. "About how to get you to stop liking me."

He doesn't stop dancing but his face screws up. The music changes to what I believe is the last song, much more upbeat. We keep slow dancing. "Why would you want to do that?"

"Because I don't want to hurt you." More honesty. I look down at his shoes, moving from side to side on the pebbles.

"Hurt is inevitable." He lowers his voice, as the rain grows heavier. The branches of the tree are covering us. "Pain is inevitable, especially in relationships. If the guy likes the girl but she doesn't like him back, there is pain. If they both like each other but can't be together, there is pain. And if they get together, therein lies more pain. With every fight, every threat of a break in the relationship, there is hurt. It's inevitable, Dakota, it can't be helped. Just like my affection for you. Nothing is going to stop it. Nothing can."

We kept dancing until the music stopped, and even until after that. I couldn't stop thinking about what he said, that pain is inevitable. Maybe he is right, but I hope he isn't.

We're only stopped when Levi and Temma come find us, linked by the hand. They look so comfortable together without being overly affectionate and gooey, which makes me smile. I can see them lasting for a long time, if there is something to last yet. I'll have to ask Levi.

We head home and because it's late, everyone heads to bed. Georgia will be off on her honeymoon now, so Levi and Temma take her room. I unwillingly slide out of my dress and put pajamas on, packing my suitcase. Alex and I are flying back in the morning so that he can make his football game in the afternoon, so we have to be packed and ready to go by 9am. I set out a change of clothes on top of my zipped up suitcase and crawl into bed, not waiting for Alex to return from his shower to go to sleep.