my step-brother's best friend // ziam

Memory Ten

Memory Ten

This was probably the darkest days I’ve ever experienced, it was the day Zayn left...

“Zayn’s moving,” Harry said bluntly while I was eating cereal on the kitchen counter with my legs dangling and swinging back and forth.

The hand that was cupping the bottom of my bowl felt weak and the hand that was holding the spoon full of Corn Flakes ready to go into my mouth, gave out and dropped into the bowl making milk splash, “What where?”

“Back to Bradford,” Harry replied closing the kitchen cupboards and making himself a bowl of cereal.

“Why?” I asked, putting the bowl beside me, my hunger vanished.

“Family problems,” Harry shrugged.

“Why are you acting so… calm?” I asked shaking my head in confusion.

Harry stopped in his tracks and looked down at the tiled kitchen floor. He took a deep breath and then looked up into my eyes, “…because I’m trying to sound strong…”

I looked into Harry’s deep green eyes and pulled the corners of my mouth into an encouraging smile, “How long is he staying there for?”

“For forever…” Harry sighed.

I looked down, “Oh… I’m sorry,”

Harry sat beside me in the counter his legs mirroring my legs as they swung back and forth, “Yeah… I’m just… sad… because he was my only friend since kinder… and now he’s going to be gone….”

I faced Harry and shot him a smile trying to keep not only him strong, but myself…

“Isn’t he going to visit you?” I asked him hoping he’d say yes so I can get to see him again too.

“Yeah, but… it won’t be the same because it will only be a couple of weeks every two to three years,” Harry sighed sadly.

I slung an arm around Harry’s shoulder, “Hey, mate, it’ll be okay,”

Harry shrugged, “Well, I hope,”

“When’s he moving?” I asked.

“In two days,” Harry replied eating his cereal.

I hopped off the kitchen counter putting my unfinished cereal in the kitchen sink, “Oh,”

“Yeah,” Harry said finishing his eating.

“Well… I’ll see ya,” I walked away and found my bedroom.

I had closed my door lightly and locked it so Harry did suspect anything. But, once the door closed, my back dragged against the door until I hit the floor. The weather practically mirrored my emotions, it was pouring rain just like my eyes were shedding tears, and they wouldn’t stop just like the rain. The people outside had their umbrellas trying to protect themselves from the cold drops, just like I was trying to protect myself from the sadness. I felt awful. I put a mix tape Zayn had made for me for my birthday; it was full of my favorite songs. I put it loudly so Harry wouldn't hear my loud sobs. The mix tape is honestly beautiful, I loved it, but at the moment it was the worst idea ever. Not only were most of the songs depressing songs, but they reminded me of the time Zayn would secretly ask me what my favorite songs were and I would be confused, but tell him the songs and then he would keep track of them and add them to this mix tape.

I flung myself under the heavy quilt and let my pillow absorb my tears. I have had a crush on Zayn ever since my eyes met his golden ones and now I was screwed. He was leaving and I had no time to tell him that I loved him. I not only had a pathetic crush on him, but the crush grew to me liking him and that grew to me loving him… I was going insane, my life is so unfair. My emotions were all over the room, they were bouncing from wall to wall, I was going mad. I felt so stupid, I let my fears get the most of me and not tell him that I loved him and now I’m screwed, I hate myself…

Harry, Zayn and I had dropped Zayn off at the airport and were waiting for him to get done giving his luggage to the people from the airline. He then approaches us as we guided him to security where he would leave.

Zayn looked down and then back up at us, “…Well, I guess this is it,”

Harry smiled weakly, “I’ll miss you mate,”

Zayn spread his arms, “Come ’ere, dude,”

Harry accepted the invitation and wrapped his arms around Zayn. I just stood there awkwardly looking down and up at them smiling sadly and then looking around awkwardly.

“I’ll miss you,” Harry said fightining back tears.

Zayn patted Harry’s back and pulled back, “I’ll miss you too,”

Zayn then looked at me, “You want a hug, Liam?”

I smiled sadly and ran to his arms, my arms snaked around his waist tugging him against me and squeezing him. I tried to express all my emotions for him in a hug. I tried to tell him I’ve loved him since I first laid eyes on him, all in the simple gesture of a hug, but it was impossible for him to capture that, so I just did it for myself.

“I’ll miss you…” I sobbed against his chest.

Zayn rubbed my back, “Me too… I’ll miss you,”

I tightened my hold on him, “Don’t leave,” I mumbled inaudiably.

Zayn put his chin on my head and kept rubbing my back.

“Thirty minutes till the flight to Bradford departs in Gate B36,” the intercom said and then repeated.

“Liam, let go, Zayn has to go,” Harry said bitterly because of his sadness.

I sighed against Zayn chest and breathed in his perfect scent, “See ya…”

Zayn pulled back and smiled at me and then at Harry, “I’ll see you guys soon, hopefully, tell Anne I’ll miss her,”

I smiled lightly at Zayn and nodded, “Good bye…”

Harry and I watched as Zayn emerged into the line that led to the security check, we kept waving at him as he dispersed against the cattle of people. The last wave was after he finished the security check and he had to leave to his gate… I hated good byes, not only did I think the name was stupid because no good bye is good in any way… They’re all stupid and sad and I hate them… Farewells are awful and pointless and they only cause sadness and tears…

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A/N: Well, this was a shitty update because I've been having a shitty week and bc memories are just so hard to write idek i just never get inspired i like chapters more idk about you guys, but yeah :) i apologize for the awful update, but the next one will be better bc it's a chapter anywaysssss.... this was my 100th page for the story in my Word document, this fan fiction is officially a novel bc they're usually 100 pages so yay um idk what else to say um um i love you guys and thanks for reading and sticking with me throughout this story love you all lots and i wish i could bake you all cookies but problem is i can't cook so i guess i'll just buy some cookies but problem is i'm broke so i guess i'll just give free virtual hugs for now(: Love you all see ya on the next updateee adiossss. :)