I Broke The Girl I Loved

I'll Be Okay

So far work today had been slow which I was silently grateful for. I had a lot on my mind and interacting with strangers was not something I particularly wanted to do but I needed to; I needed the money. It's been a little over a week since my dad passed away and I still haven't planned the funeral. I haven't even thought about it, not wanting to picture my fathers casket being lowered into the ground, because it would only make this nightmare become a reality and I don't think I'm ready for that.

The bell on the door to the shop rang and I tore myself from my thoughts in order to welcome the customer.

"Aydrian?" A puzzled look took over my face when she walked towards me holding a bouquet of Lavender with white and pink Camellia's. Once she was in front of where I was standing she held out the bouquet for me.

"These are for you," she said as she smiled up at me, a pink tint forming on her cheeks.

I took them from her hand, our fingers lightly brushing against each other as I did.

"Isn't the guy supposed to be the one to gift the flowers?" I asked, softly chuckling as I observed the beauty of the bouquet.

"Not in this case. I wanted you to have these because each flower has a meaning. The Lavender represents calmness and silence, which I felt you could use in a time like this," I watched her as she continued, "The white Camellia's stand for purity and the pink ones symbolize a longing for someone who you miss."

"Did you pick these yourself?" I asked, absorbing the information she told me. She silently nodded in response.

I couldn't help the smile that formed on my face at the thought of her picking all these flowers just for me. Without saying another word, I wrapped my arms around her. At first she stiffened at my sudden hug, but soon enough I felt her arms wrap around my waist and her head rest on my chest.

"Thank you," I whispered into her ear.

She briefly pulled away in order to take my face in her hands and place her soft lips against mine. The kiss was slow and passionate, full of emotions that words couldn't convey. Her lips moved away as she inhaled and rested her head back on my chest, wrapping her arms around me once again. If it wasn't for a new costumer walking in then Aydrian and I wouldn't have broken away from our hug. She turned to leave but I placed my hand on her wrist to stop her. I felt that I grabbed it lightly but maybe I didn't because she instantly pulled her arm to her side as tears pricked her eyes; I panicked.

"Aydrian, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you," I frantically said.

"Oh no, it wasn't you. I'm good," she responded, blinking away the tears.

Knowing I shouldn't press, I cleared my throat and awkwardly shifted in place. "Okay. Well um- I just wanted to know if you'd want to get a coffee after I finish work."

The smile that appeared on her face let me know her answer before she even said it.

"I would love to."

                                        ***

My shift ended at 5pm so I closed up shop and walked with Aydrian to my car; once she brought me the bouquet, she decided to keep me company through the rest of my shift. The coffee shop I wanted to take her to was on the other side of town but the drive was still relatively short. I turned the radio on, switching through the channels to find a song I liked. Nothing good was on and just as I was about to turn it off, and drive the rest of the way in silence, the song "I Love You Like A Love Song" by Selena Gomez came on and I smiled.

"I love this song," I exclaimed, turning up the volume to mask my horrible singing voice.

Aydrian was watching me as I belted the lyrics  to the song out. My voice cracked a few times and I could hear hear her giggle when it did. I briefly took my eyes off the road in order to lookover at her and see that she was smiling and playfully rolling her eyes at me. The song was over too fast and I whined when a new song came on. Luckily we were close to the coffee shop so we wouldn't have to listen to whatever was playing now for much longer.

I pulled over to an open spot, a few stores down from the coffee shop, and turned the car off. Aydrian and I both got out and began the short walk to the coffee shop. Once in front of it she read the sign.

"Biscuits and Books, I like it."

"Wait until you see the inside," I beamed, giving her a toothy grin as I placed my hand on the small of her back and led her inside.

I opened the door, letting Aydrian walk in first before following after her. Aydrian instantly made her way to the bookshelf and ran her fingers along the different spines until she found one that peaked her interest. She pulled it out and held it in her hands, admiring the detail of the cover. I watched in admiration as she flipped through the frail pages, her eyes absorbing the story through the words printed on the page. The booth closest to the shelf was unoccupied so I took it upon myself to guide Aydrian there. She said down, her eyes never once leaving the book.

"What would you like?" I softly asked.

"A hot chocolate please," she mumbled back.

I nodded and went to get our drinks. They were ready in no time and I returned to my seat across from Aydrian. Trying not to disturb Aydrian, I carefully slid the cup across the table towards her. She brought it to her lips and let out a sigh once she sipped on the chocolatey goodness. The sleeve on her hoodie rolled down and allowed for the scars on her wrist to appear. I took in a breath as I realized that was the same wrist I had grabbed earlier.

Aydrian noticed the sudden shift in mood and followed my line of sight to her wrist. I watched as she shut her eyes and shakily put her cup down.

She exhaled a breath and looked back at me, her voice cracking as she said, "I'll be okay."