Dangerous Territory

What Was It All For?

"Victory just means you killed more little boys," Levi muttered. "What sort of sick person celebrates that?"

"You only feel that way because you have someone on the other side. We must think of the whole war. How many more would die if we did not fight?"

"That's the sort of bullshit they want you to believe. I was an assassin, I know that better than any of you." Levi's brow furrowed hard. "That's why I've taught your men, don't look them in the eyes. It's easier when you don't humanize the person you've murdered. The minute you realize they have a name, a family, a child," he said, his eyes staring off hollowly, "is the day you can no longer continue to be a soldier. At least, not without completely losing your humanity."

Yelena stepped up to Levi and lowered her voice. "Don't talk like that in front of my men. Half of them would quit."

"Good! They should before they get themselves killed."

She patted him on the shoulder. "Take the day off, Levi. Pray, grieve—"

"Grieve for what? He's alive!" Levi screamed, but he felt a lump choke up in his throat. He immediately slumped back down so Yelena could not see the burning in his eyes. He whispered, "What have I got to do anyway?"

"How about reading? I have something for you. I went to visit our klai Frend in the brothel. Carly said she got a letter from Louise."

"From who?"

Yelena chuckled that he already forgot about her. "Your boyfriend's wife."

Levi made a sickened growl deep in his throat. "Is this your perverse idea of cheering me up?"

"Carly said you should see it. I haven't looked at it yet, but maybe it's good news." She reached into an inner coat pocket and pulled out the letter.

Levi sat up, slightly intrigued. If this was from Louise, but Carly said Levi should see it, then it must be about Eren. He glanced over Louise's letter. The beginning was full of inane pleasantries, nothing more than thanking Carly for her help and apologizing for not writing to her sooner. Finally, he saw the important part.

* * *

I've been in contact with Eren Jäger over the past month. His letters were at first hopeful, but they soon became concerning. I know that being able to talk about the war must have helped him, and I wrote back to him because he often said that my letters were a comfort to him.

However, I received a letter today that truly worries me. He's asked me not to come to Metz, and my parents have forbidden me from leaving, but something must be done.
Dear Madame Carly, I am so deeply concerned for his safety, but I don't know what to do. If I am to be a wife, I feel like I'm failing.

Perhaps you know people in Metz who can help.

I hate to ask you a favor after all you did to help me, but I simply can't shake off the fear. As dark as his more recent letters have become, none were quite like this, and I seriously am worried for him.

* * *

The letter went on, but Levi quickly pulled out another piece of paper written with messier penmanship.

Had Eren been writing letters to Louise the whole time? It made sense. He had to act like a married man, after all. Still, a part of Levi felt jealous. He had spent over a month worrying about Eren without any way of knowing if he was alive or dead. Now here was a letter, written only one day ago, according to the date on the top.

He realized right away that the letter was in German. "Can you translate this?" he asked Yelena.

She pulled a chair up beside Levi and took the letter. Immediately, she saw the German script. "Is it from Eren?"