19 | Island

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It was around 4 PM when the doorbell rang. I was sitting on the kitchen counter drinking what had to be my 50th iced coffee of the day while Nicolas silently judged me from behind his mixing bowl. He was attempting to make strawberry turnovers using the ones I grew in my garden, but couldn't stop scoffing every time I refilled my glass with cold brew. I'm guessing athletes don't support caffeine addictions.

"I'll get that," I said as I hopped down and made my way to the door.

"Don't answer it if it's Benji," Nico cried back. "He puked, like, 10 gallons last night. I'm not trusting him to enter this house."

I laughed and opened the door. It wasn't Benji.

"Hi," Lilli said. She was holding a basket of oranges and her bike was perched against my porch railing.

"Oh, uh," I replied. "Hey." There was a beat of absence where I could almost taste the tension in the air. "You're at my house," I said because it was the only thing I could think to break the silence.

"I... Wanted to talk. And bring you these," she said, holding out the oranges. "My dad has an orchard."

I didn't want to invite her in. In fact, I sort of wished I could just close the door and never have to think about Lilli Sanders again. But, I'm a nice person who decided late into last night that I did like this girl. That's how being interested in someone works, right? You have to talk yourself into it?

"That's really sweet of you, thanks," I said as I took the basket. After a pause I added," Would you like to come in?"

She gave me a quick nod and stepped through my front door. Nicolas came into the foyer, his hands painted pink from the strawberries and flour pressed against his nose.

"Oh, Lilli."

"Hey," she smiled.

This was unbearably awkward. I shouldn't have said anything to Nico last night because, now, his eyes kept flicking between us in a nonverbal lecture towards me. I wasn't quite sure what he was trying to say, but I could make out through his sigh that he was mildly disappointed that Lilli was here.

"You shouldn't lead her on," his frown said.

"I'm not," my eyebrows replied.

"Uh, you have some flour on your face," Lilli said and Nicolas lifted the bottom of his shirt to wipe it off. I immediately looked away.

"Here, my room's this way," I rushed out, setting the oranges on the counter and leading Lilli upstairs. Once we entered, she took a moment to look around.

"You have a lot of plants," she said.

"I guess." I didn't want to talk about how I grew things. Lilli didn't know I kept a garden or read The Raven Cycle or pretty much anything about who I really am, and I intended on leaving it that way. "So, what's up?"

She looked at me as if I were the most clueless person on the face of the planet before chuckling and setting her tote bag beside my desk. "I just... Wanted to ask you... Uh..."

Oh my god, please no. My stomach spun upside down because, right then, Lilli tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and seemed like she might just ask if we could be a couple. I didn't know what I would say. I might've just ran away and sailed off into the ocean.

"Yesterday at the festival," she said. "Um, well, I guess I'm just wondering if you like me or not."

I blinked. This was not quite what I was expecting. Lilli, from what I've seen, was rather confrontational. She took opportunities when they arrived and didn't hesitate to speak her mind if she thought something is wrong. That's why, right then, the uncertainty in her voice felt sort of off, like it didn't quite fit with what I knew of her. Maybe neither of us knew each other at all.

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